personal

1 year

Claire, August 2010
Well there are no words into what i have experienced. Within the past year i had lost my first nephew (he was taken into care) .. i or my family are not alowed to see him because my brother and his ex we're not good parents. I tried to help, we all did!. And to make matters worse my eldest sister was told as a child she could not have children... she deserved children the most!!. She fell pregnant with my next nephew Malachy... we had planned everything for him. I was going to be his god mother. I spoke to him through my sisters belly as he kicked my cheek! we had a bond. Malachy was our only hope to bring our family back together... 1 day before he should have been born. My sisters waters broke, the hospital left her un-attended for 4 hours. In that short time... i had lost my baby nephew Malachy. Loosing not 1 but 2. Has broken me in 2. I can't even look at children anymore and i hate the world for doing this to me!!!!! .

Katie, July 2010
2009 was probably the worst year of my life so far. This is because I lost 3 of my family members. The first on March 31 I found out my brother died in a car accedent. Which was a lie, my mum thought I couldn't handle the truth which was he killed himself. Then my Grandad formed cancer. The second death was my Auntie's in late August, though I wasn't close to her she still wasn't gonna be there she did live a good life though well into her 80's. Then finally my major downfall was my Grandad's death on October 26. This hurt me more because I used to live with him and because he took early retirement whilst my mum and nan still worked he helped raise me for about 6 years and he was so proud of me when I started high school. I never even began to think that he'd ever leave me but even if I did I never expected it to be so soon. By the way did I forget to mention I'm 12 now but was 11 at the time of all 3 deaths. It's been over a year since my brother's death and I still cry, nearly every night. I love you bro.I love you Auntie R. I love you Grandad AKA 'Little Grandad'. xxxxxxxxxxx

Katie, July 2010
My daddy died from cancer about a year ago its been so hard for me its been a year but it feels like it was just yesterday he went i will love you forever and always xxxxxx

vicky, June 2010
my mum died almost a year ago and i miss her so much. i thought it would get better with time but in someways it has got harder. i would do anything just to see her again.
love you so much mummy xxxxxxx

Holly, June 2010
It's been a year now since my Mum died of cancer. I am finding it easier to live normally again, though I miss her even more than I thought possible. She is a huge inspiration to me, and has always been my role model. Now I'm trying to live my life with the some of the compassion and love that she brought into the world.
She was the most beautiful person I've ever known.
x

No name, June 2010
My friend and mentor, who was healthy and always full of life, died tragically from a brain tumour which struck unexpectedly and very quickly. More recently, my gran, whom I spent a lot of time with over the years, died after a long and gruelling fight with cancer. It's been... A rough year.

Kirsty, 27 April 2010
My Grandad
Tomorrow it'll be a year ago since my Grandad died of bowel cancer and I still cry every so often...more so this week x

Nicola, April 2010
I am 17 and miscarried my baby at five weeks, when I was 16.
It happened on March 22nd 2009 - Mothers Day. It really affected me for the first few weeks and then it had a severe impact on my mental health, which really deteriorated throughout the end of last year. I see many different professionals but have never been able to talk to anyone about this, partly as I thought it wasn't relevant.
The year anniversary was so difficult and now the 22nd of every month is torture as I think about how old the baby would have been, as the baby was due on 22nd November 2009. Every time I go out I see parents with their children, babies in pushchairs and it absolutely destroys me. There is not even a handful of people who do know what happened and I never really discuss it with them either. I have now decided that I will seek professional support to deal with the grief that I feel and am just hoping that I can move on and learn how to manage the way I feel.

Katie, March 2010
my daddy died from cancer about a year ago :(

lauren, March 2010
i lost my nan a year ago i feel like a lost a big part of me the only one i could talk to but i know she is my nan but it is talk to her than my mom.

No name, February 2010
My dad died February 23rd 2009 of brain cancer and it tor me up.

Messages up to the end of 2009 are in the archive here