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Karina, 15 December 2009
My dad died three weeks ago. He lived in another country and I saw him twice a year. I'm having difficulty accepting his death even though I knew he had heart problems for years. We didn't always see eye to eye and argued frequently but it's only because we're so similar. I miss him so much and am angry that he's taken away from me - I feel cheated of time with him. I wanted him to be there for the major achievements in my life which I still am to undertake. It's just not fair!

becky, 3 December 2009
im 15 years of age and wednesday 11th November 2009 i lost my gran, only a couple of my friends where there for me in my time of need, she got rushed into hospital because she couldn't breathe. she was in hospital for about 4 weeks and was suppost to be coming home on the friday because she made a massive improvement, then she took a turn for the worst and her main artory split and went in to like a comer. i was down the hospital from 4:30 pm till about 9:00 pm when she went so peicefully and then the day before my grans funeral on the 19th of november my auntie passed away from a brain tuma. and now i cant focus on my exams because its to much

jasmine, 27 November 2009
im 11 years old on the 1st November 2009 i lost my grandad due 2 a massive heart attack he was like a dad 2 me i lost my dad before i was born and my mum died giving birth 2 me i  live with my granny now im still recovering i know u think its silly for a kid 2 worry this much but i do it will take me 6 months 2 get over it i have also had 2 blackouts due 2 depression and im down to 3 stone cause of not eating im so sorry for all thoose familys out there who have lost a dear 1 2 heart attacks and i promise something will be done

B, 27 November 2009
On november 3rd my dad died from swine flu, he went into hospital on the sunday before and i thought nothing of it because we were told it was simply a chest infection but ofcourse they couldnt tell till the results came back. He couldnt survive because hes oxygen levels were too low and so at 4:15am with all his family around him he died. I will forever love and miss my dad and i cant bear this has happened it physically pains my to think about it, im sorry to all who have felt this pain or simular it hurts more than can be imagined.

I will never say goodbye t my pa, i love you dad forever and always you'll be in my heart x

No name, 13 November 2009
Hi, well um it was two weeks ago I found out as soon as my dad told me and my brother after talkin to my mum who was in Irealand with my granny, I hade a knot in my tummy! I felt sick I was so upset! We were so close eventhough we lived in diffrent countrys! But even today if someone calles saying how sorry they are about it I will run upstairs in tears! Sometimes I feel like the world is over but I now I'll be ok because she may not be with me in person but I now she is here in soul and she will look over my!!! And I now that she is in a happier place!! Thank you very much

Katrina, 9 November 2009
Hi i am Katrina i am nearly 12 my stepdad died 7 weeks ago from cancer my grandad died 10 weeks ago from cancer and my nan died from breast cancer just over a year ago it isnt the same at all in my house i dont like it it is a huge change i keep forgetting their gone so in the evenings i keep thinking whens my stepdad gonna be home from work. also i dont like seeing my mum get upset it makes me a bit upset. Some people at school dont quite understand how hard it is as they have never experienced it. xx

J..., November 2009
My best friend died on the 20th of October 2008, i was absalutly devistated, teachers in school all they want to talk about is her. Its like they just want to get me upset, My guidence teacher who is supposed to be there to help doesnt she just tells everyone what i tell her. I have been harming myself for about one yer and a half and i has just gotten progressivly worse. My psycologist is the only person who knows because i told everyone i had stopped, I told her that everyone knows when they dont.... i really miis my best friend and nothing ever feels the same, i never feel happy i dont eat, iv lost 3 stone since she died, and the friends who i thought were there for me... werent:\

Ali, 24 October 2009
My grandmother died on september 30th. Before she died, we knew she had lung cancer. I truely miss her, But i have to stay strong for my friends and family. Sometimes, I feel like that grief has taken over me and i don't want to do anything. But you have to realise that sometimes you've gotta fight grief and get back on your own two feet. I love you grandma, I truely miss you

Bekka, 8 October 2009
my nan died on september 11th 2009. she had cancer. i knew before she told me that she had cancer. i relly miss her. everyday i think of her and when she died i wanted to die in her place because i didnt think life was worth living anymore. but i knew that i had to stay strong for my mum. i got myself in to trouble at school, but ive gone past caring. but please anyone who reads this, dont smoke, it killed my nan.

Rachel, 10 October 2009
Im Rachel, i'm 13 years old. Around 3 weeks ago, my Dad died , he had a heart attack in the middle of the rugby field. It was the worst thing i have ever had to deal with, and i still dont think it has fully sunk in. Sometimes, i feel like crying for no reason, and sometimes, even everyday things like homework feel too much sometimes. I know i have to be strong though, he would have wanted that and i need to look after my mum and 10 year old sister. Sometimes i feel a bit guilty for being happy, as i dont think i should be, but then i remeber how fun loving he was and how much we always used to laugh. He would have wanted me to be happy, not miserable for the rest of my life. Giong to see him afterwards was the worst and best thing i could have done. I was scared, but after seein ghim i felt better. I went to the funeral and it was very upsetting and emotional, but with so many family members and friends dad would have been proud. My advice to anyone going through the same thing, NEVER feel guilty for being happy, because remeber whoever died would not have wanted you to be upset. I try to remeber the good times, and feel happy that i got 13 years with him. i would rather have those 13 years with him then 100 with most other people. I miss him so much, but i know he will always be up there watching me

RIP Dad,all my Love Always

Rach xxxxxxx

Racch, 28 September 2009
Well.. my best boy mate died 2 weeks today :( and i miss him so much, he was always there when i needed a chat and always the one who i could depend on. he died on the 13th september 2009 and we found out on the monday morning when our headteacher came into our lesson and said one of our students had tragically died, i couldn't believe it was him, 2 weeks on and i can't stop thinking about him, i spoke to him the saturday night and he seemed fine, his last words to me were 'i love you, see you monday' but i never did see him that monday because he killed himself sunday night :( so many rumours going round and you don't know what to believe but i have my own beliefs and they stay with me. i love you, best friends always james. 23/09/94- 13/09/09 xxx

No Name, July 2009
Around 2 weeks ago my Dad commited suicide and died. It was so horrible because i only saw him the day before and everthing was normal untill i was told. There was no easy way to cope but i've been hanging on its hard to cope but my mums got a counceler from cruise who comes round to talk any time i need to. Sometimes its easier to talk to them because i'm afraid if i talk to my family i might upset them.

Arianne, July 2009
My sister died just three weeks ago. It is now 19th of July. I am feeling so confused - at times I'm happy because I can stop thinking about her and other times I just break down. At first everything felt surreal and I kept thinking she was here but now its sunk in more.
Ella had a long list of medical problems from epilepsy and menangitis to minor infections and things that plagued her due to her weakened immune system. She died in her sleep and we were told that she did not suffer any pain and that made me feel a bit better.
I am feeling a lot of things at the moment - sadness, grief, conusfusion, and guilt. I feel guilty because sometimes I feel happy because I'm surrounded by family members and friends. I'm just totally confused, to be honest.
Its weird - we can go for hours without thinking about her, but suddenly its crashes down on you.
But also, I understand now that its OK to feel all these thing s and that time isthe greatest healer. I know I will always miss her, but that I can still get on with my life.

Michelle, 25 June 2009
My dad died suddenly on 18th May 2009. I was lying in bed asleep in London when I awoke to hear my aunt banging at the door... He was outwardly healthy, went for a shower, came out again, screamed and collapsed. My mother tried to save him but he was gone by the time she reached the top of the hall. My daddy is dead at 57 years of age and I feel empty, none of us believe that this is real. I feel that he is still with me in spirit, I talk to him everyday. All I want is a sign that he is definitely okay.

danielle, 9 June 2009
i lost my nepthew he was 18 days old about 14 week ago i am 8 years old.the doctours said he was not pooly but that was wrong thay took him home and he died . i realy miss him.

No name, May 2009
He was the one. The love of my life. And he's dead. I just feel like crawling into a little black hole and dying. Everyday that goes by I'm always thinking of suicide myself, i just pray it gets better. I've been cutting myself to try and ease the pain but i cant feel anymore, my whole body's gone numb, nothings worth it anymore. I don't want to live anymore. 2 weeks ago.
From RD4U
We are very sorry to hear of the tragic death of the love of your life

You say you are thinking of suicide yourself. You have had a very significant bereavement. We hope that we can help you to begin to cope.It is good that you have posted this message and then other young people can help you. We also have a National Freephone for Young People and the number is 08444779400 which is open from 930am to 5pm Monday to Friday.We also have very well trained bereavement support workers and details of our branches are on our website www.cruse.org.uk It can be so helpful to speak to someone regularly

Other organisations that can help are Childline on 0800 1111 and Papyrus on 08701704000. Your doctor may also be able to help. I hope that all these ideas are helpful. Do contact us again if we can help more.

No name, May 2009
7 weeks ago today my mum died.

She had been in hospital for 4 months, with multiple problems. Neither the doctors or I thought she was going to pass.

I got a call from my dad saying that i needed to go to the hospital straight away because the doctors needed to talk to us all. That is when they told us that she would only be able to continue another few days the way she was.

The following day at 7pm most of my family left the hospital for 20 minutes as they had been there all day. They asked me if i wanted to go and something inside me told me to stay so i did.

That is when it happened. The doctors told us that she was gone.

As I said in the beginning, it has been 7 weeks now. It's still really upseting to think that she's not going to be at my wedding or at the birth of her grandchildren.

I am only 21 and I really miss her. I will never forget her and she WILL be at my wedding in my memories and in my heart forever.

I LOVE YOU MUM xXxXx

craig, May 2009
My dad died 2 weeks ago . He was my hero . I really dont know how to cope with it and my marriage is now failing . i just need to say good by to him .

Tracey, Apruil 2009
My boyfriend of 8yrs died in my arms on April 20th-it's only April 28th but if feels like forever. He had a heart attack the paramedics did everything they could do. I miss him so much he was my world, my soulmate my best friend. I feel so lost with out him. I keep beatiny myself up over what I could have done to save him but God already had the calender marked. All I can do now is grieve and remember the precious times we had and take it 1 day at a time.

No name, 23 March 2009
My Dad passed last Sunday the 15th of March.  I live very far from him and could NOT bring myself to seeing him dead, therefore I did not go to the funeral....I have to live with this the rest of my life.  My brother and sister are mad at me for not attending the funeral but I could not see him dead.  I want to remember him alive.

niamh, 5 March 2009
my Dad died in January 09. he was the best dad ever.I am eight years old. I had just woken up and my mum sat me down to tell me what happened he was only 37 and it's not fair. I started to cry. My mum and big sister hugged me very tight and when my grandad came he did too. i still feel very very sad and im glad i found RD4U because it helps me when i can send a message to my dad.

Megan, 26 February 2009
My Nanna died on february 2nd 2009 ... less than a month ago. she was just 66 years old and died of cancer in her lungs,liver and neck as well as a thrombosis in the leg and lucemia. she had been ill for over 5 years when she died and fought her illness to the end. My nan was called Doreen and had 5 daughters, 12 grandchildren and one great grandchild. I'm the middle born out of the 12 of us but was still close to my nan. we were the only two christians in the family. I really miss her and just can't imaginge life without her. my school work is going badly and my whole life is falling apart.. at times I feel like joining her but I couldn't. they say pain gets better over time but the family link has gone and i just don't know what to link on to no one realised just how important she was to us all until we lost her

From RD4U:I am sorry to hear of the death of your nan who was very special to her. It is good that you have posted this timeline experience and then other young people can help.

You may want to telephone our Freephone Helpline on 08081671677 which is open from 930am to 5pm Monday to Friday. We also have bereavement support workers if you would like to see someone who is very well trained. Details of our branches are in our website www.cruse.org.uk There is also another very good helpline called Childline which is open 24 hours a day. I hope these ideas are helpful. If we can help further please let us know. Best wishes

Lieana, 24 February 2009
My momma dyd two weeks ago.  Her name was Desira pronounced des-erray.  She meant alot to me! I am only eleven. My dad is really sad. So is my little bro.  My poor dog goes crazy. The one thing i am worry about is, did she go to hell? She was mean sometimes. How do I tell my teacher, or my bff? What will they say? I am so confused about everything. To someone who's reading this cuz their mum died, i know how you feel. your not alone.

Megan, 22 February 2009
have had two dates - 1. february 9th would have been my uncles birthday who took his life in may last year and the february 14th valentines day, my first boyfriend/ my best friend did the same in november. I only wanted us to be together, i had to go to his ashes today, i wasn't ready to say goodbye.

anon, 10 February 2009
i lost my best friend, Jadey recently and i really miss her, i'm finding it hard without her and wish that i could see her again, though i know i cant, the days get longer and the nights get harder, but i know shes smiling down at me, she was the most funniest person when she was around always a laugh and a right piss head lol.
i lost Jadey in a house fire, i miss her smiling and making everyone smile even though sometimes they didnt want to, they couldnt help but smile at her cheery face.

you'll always be rembered Jadey!
Forever in my heart x.x.x

laura, 8 February 2009
Today it is one week since my Nan died. We were really close and I loved her to bits. She was really sick so I am pleased she no longer has to suffer in pain, but just knowing she has gone makes me miss her so much

No name, February 2009
After christmas last year, 2008, my dad passed away, after a battle with cancer. He had been ill since about june, it was the third time he had it. I honestly thought he was going to get better. Then at the begining of January 2009, my mum sadly also passed away. This was after having some liver problems, which we were told were not life-threatening. I cant deal with it.

JILL, February 2009
IN JAN OF 2003 I LOST MY BOYFRIED OF 9 YEARS.
AFTER 5 LONG YEARS OF BEING A LONE I STARED DATING. I FOUND MY SOUL MATE IN JUNE OF 2008.
IN JAN OF 2009 I LOST HIM.

JENNIFER, 8 January 2009
MY BOYFRIEND DIED CHRISTMAS EVE 08'. HE WAS ONLY 27 YEARS OLD. WE HAVE A 8 YEAR OLD SON TOGETHER. WE WERE TOGETHER SINCE WE WERE BOTH 15.I still am trying to accept the fact that I can never lay next to him, or rub my hand across his face, or lay on his chest and hear how fast his heart beats...IT'S NOT FAIR!!THE LAST TIME I TOUCHED HIM HE WAS COLD,STIFF,THE LIFE, SPIRIT, CONSTANT LAUGHING AND SMILING WAS NO LONGER THEIR.I JUST WANT TO THANK HIM FOR GIVING THE BEST MEMORIES OF MY LIFE AND A REMINDER OF HIMSELF THROUGH "NATHAN" OUR SON. THANK YOU MIKE, I LOVE YOU AND WILL MISS YOUR SMILE AND JOKES FOREVER.

Alex, 9 January 2009
my grandad died a couple of weeks ago and i was really upset when it was just a couple of days i was upset more but now im not so upset.

kira aged 12 on christmas day, 28 December 2008
well my mum died 3 weeks ago on saturday, i still thinks shes alive but whenever i am sad i pick up the phone and talk to her and remember all the good times we had. I also think that shes a puffer fish because thats what she looked like. I have only just got her clothes ready for her funeral. I still wish she was here but i also was remember that i have had a good eleven and three quatre years and i still put here prensents under the christmas tree but know i am going to keep them with the rest of her jewelery in a special box and i even have a letter she wrote for me which was for me to read after she had deid and the good thing about it is that it reminds me of all the good times we had- even though it still makes me cry- but mum i love you!!!!

ella, 12 December 2008
my freind died 1 week ago. i've found it hard to cope... i cry every night
to carlo
i love you and will never forget you... you are 1 in a million. I will love you always
ella xxxxxxx

ben, 1 December 2008
my famaliy has always been so close any chance to get together as a group was just so awesome and dad was always the life of us all making jokes anyone would think we were brothers since he always acted like a teenager...but when we found out he haid a brain cancer that couldnt be opperated on our hole family shatterd he was told he had 3months 6 if he was lucky well on the 9th of november he passed while holding my hand..so hopeless i had to stair at him while he left us here... the pain of him being gone can really take its toll i stay strong infront of mum but alone my heart just breaks everytime i miss him with all my heart..he was a police man a military man a familiy man and a great husband and friend a calm nature a positive attitude and a loving heart..somehow it makes life seem unfair since we have losers out there yet a man like my dad has to go

xxBeth.wxx--, 16 October 2008
My cousin Jake had died On October 3rd 2008 He's 17yrs old.

No Name, 8 October 2008
missing you
my boyfriend of two years was tooken from me three weeks ago and i dont know what to do with myself i feel like theres no life without him..i lived with him i seen him everyday he supported me. its like we were married and the day he died he left me empty inside becuase he took me with him..i do nothing all day i rarely get ready..and i only talk to few. my bestfriend  lost her boyfriend a month prior to me...my boyfriend and her boyfriend were bestfriends two and..i just feel like someone hated us so much..i dont want to live at times becuase with out him there is n0 life for me..

Reply from: RD4U team
I am very sorry to hear that your boyfriend of two years has died. Do keep talking to those who you are talking to at the moment. Also think about whether you might post a message on the rd4u website and then other young people will reply. 

KERIE, 27 September 2008
i lost my mum 2 weeks ago 2day to cancer.
was the worst thing i have ever been through.. i hated watching her go completly down hill & i wish i could have done something for things to be different. She was the most loving person and caring person that i ever new. she was also the best mum in the world and i love her so much. i dunno how im gonna go on without her and im not even sure if losing her has even hit me yet. i cried so much when it happend and couple days after but when i went to see her in the chapel of rest i just couldnt stop shaking until the end a few forced tears of relief came out.. havent cried since. not even at the funeral yet.. i dunno weather losing her will ever hit me :(

i could go on all day about the loss of my mum but ill think il stop..

im 16.. so if anyone else has any similar experiance being my age please coment.

xxx

Cat, 23 September 2008
I lost my mum 6 weeks ago today. 12th August 2008 at approximately 11:10pm. She had been in hospital at that point just short of 6 weeks and though 6 weeks is quite a long time it was all very sudden. There was no lead up before she went into hospital. In fact she was only admitted to hospital because of a sore knee which she had banged the day previous to admission. She was unable to put any weight on it and because of that was kept in as she was unable to look after herself. It gradually got worse with sepsis which led to organ failure and ultimately her death.
It was her birthday last week, it would have been a milestone birthday 60!! We were both looking forward to celebrating it and she used to joke about collecting her pension and getting a bus pass.
As time passes by it gets much harder (for myself at least). I'll be 25 next week and I believe that is way too young to lose a parent. It's just so final, I would trade in the world for her to be back with me and my brothers. Why do the good people die young??

No name, 6 September 2008
my dad died three weeks ago and it is the hardest thing.. my parents got divorced a couple years ago and i never really saw my dad the last few years but he still was my dad and i loved him very much.. i just wished i could have talked to him and seen him more than i did. it has been so hard the last week or so.. it seems like he's just out of town or doesnt have a phone so i cant talk to him but hes really gone. it hurts so bad and im devastated!! i cant get over it and never will. dad, i wished i could tell you this in person but i love you very much and i miss you very much.. please just come home!!

No name, 3 August 2008
My girlfriends died 2 weeks ago. I woke up the morning after a petty fight we had to find her next to me, dead.

No name, 28 July 2008
my dad committed suicide almost three weeks ago, he was very very ill with depression and anxiety. he also had an underactive thyroid and couldnt cope with simple things. he began to feel like a burden to me and my mum, he couldn't drive, his eyesight was worsening. he couldn't accept that he was the most brilliant man i know. everyone says that he was. i wish he could have believed that. he always told me he didn't hvae many friends but just over 100 came to his funeral. i haven't completely accepted it yet, but i won't let myself cry. i wish this had never happened.

No name, 13 July 2008
My dad died a week ago the funeral is toomorrow, did anyone else feel that with him being gone, things just didnt make sense, he died of cancer , he was diagnosed only 4 months before and he was doing better and things took a turn for the worse only 14 days ago, i flew back to him and i managed to say goodbye, i was alone with him when he went... none of this makes sense, he should still be here

No name, 27 June 2008
A few weeks ago one of my best friends died. I had to accept she was going to die before she actually died. Its been really hard for me to stop thinking about her, but i know shes in a better place. I miss her so much, but what she did was her choice and i'm glad it is what she wanted.
she was the most beautiful girl i have ever known and i will love her forever.

letitia, 29 June 2008
my mum died last week 20th june ... she was only 61 ,she was a fighter she fot so many fings and she never did go 2 hospitals coz she was scared of them and saw 2 many people die in them but in the end she had 2 go in 2 hospital and she never came back out and i feel so rotten that i sent her in cos she hated it ill never forget the way my mum followed me about the room with her eyes as if 2 have 1 more look at me b4 she died ..i luv her so much and i just cant seem 2 get over her its as if 1 day im crying then the next im fine but ill never forget her and just hope it get easer coz rite now its not xxxxx

liz, 24 June 2008
My grandma passed away last week. Her death was rather sudden and i have never felt so sad in my life before. She was the world to me. Much closer to me than my parents ever will be.  She brought me up and thought me all the things that I knew abt life. She is someone who I knew will always be there for me. Now that she's gone. I just feel so lost. I miss her terribly.

Josie, 23 June 2008
I lost my dad on the friday 13th 2008. Ever since i lost him he has been doing crazy things like giving us signs, to let us know that he is still with us !!!!! And i am glad that i had that one and only dad. He did everything with me playing, arguing and loving!!! And now he has gone i miss the fun times we had has now all been thrown into the past! But no matter what happens i will always love you right the way up until i die!!!

No name, 18 June 2008
My boyfriend died a weak ago. We were very close to each other. He used to say "My love, will you marry me? Will you be the mother of my children?", almost every weak. I always answered "Of course my love, that's what I want most!". But one day he dies. He was found dead in his bedroom. No one knows the cause of death, not even the doctors. How can I pass over this if I can't even know how or why he died. I want him back in my arms so much...

Sophie, 10 June 2008
My dad died on the 5th June 2008 and i miss him so much, but it seems surreal. like its not really happening, i cannot accept that he is not coming back. he was in hospital for 2 weeks so i was kind of getting used to him not being at home anyway. He was so brave, I just wish I had spent more time with him before he died. it was so unexpected and im absolutely dreading the funeral because i think that is when it will truly sink in

Brooke, 7 June 2008
Last Sunday my uncle died from an illness and I didn't even now that my uncle was sick. If you are looking at what I'm writing I miss you a whole lot and I start to feel horrible and I still won't add you on my five okay. I love you and I always will.

No name, 23 May 2008
Its been about a week since my grandad died.
He was in the vietnam war and he love us so much.im his grandchild and he took us to see a different place in the worl every summer.
He was a great loving man who had 6brothers&sister 2 children and 3 grandchildren.im one of his grandchidren.He made us cal him grandad.i remember when i was little i would call him grandpa and he would say thats not my name.i love him so much and it will be different without him!
[R.I.P my sweet love]

Heather, 21 May 2008
I lost my dad about 3 weeks ago. I'm only 15 years old and I was his world. I don't have any idea what I'm suppossed to do. I feel so lost and Miss my dad so much. I'll never forget him no matter how hard I try. The night before he died we got into a big argument that made me feel so bad. I feel a big hole in my heart with nothing to feel it. My dad was all I ever knew. I lived with him from the time I was a baby until now. I really just want to go home and see him but when I go he's not there. I miss him more that ever. It feels like I'm trapped in a dream and can't get out of it because I'm still waitin to wake up from it but I'm not going to. Like people try to make everything perfect but no one can bring my dad back. My life has no reason. I miss him so much and just wish I was in his arms again. I loved my dad more than life itsself and he loved me more than anything. It's so hard to deal with this.

Heather, May 13 2008
Well my dad died a week and 4 days ago and it still doesn't seem real. I feel like I'm in a dream and just haven't woke up yet. I never knew my mother and all I ever had was my dad and my uncle. My uncle has went all to hell since dad died. I've cried constant since he's been gone. The night of his funeral I was pitaful. It just doesn't seem real and I've done burried him. My boyfriend's mom died about a year ago and he hasn't excepted it yet. He don't know how to be here for me and all my feelings are just stuck inside of me. I pray every night that God helps me do something with my life. It's hard being on earth without my best friend. But the last thing I told my dad was I love you. He's in Heaven watching over me so that makes it better.

Abby, 19 April 2008
My mum died on 29th march 2008. she killed herself. she was only 44. even as i write this it seems like i'm writing about someone else. it still hasn't sunk in that she's gone forever and that i'll never see her or hug her again. i have good days and bad days and i get through the bad days by keeping busy and knowing that if i keep going there will be a time when i feel better again. the pain will never completely go but i know i will be able to cope with this in time. my heart goes out to anyone who is also suffering from the death of a loved one.. stay strong and just keep going. it will get easier in time.

bee, 7 April 2008
i had two best friends a boy and a girl that i'd know since i was a baby, we did everything together.just under a year a go, one the girl died by breaking her kneck in a drunken accident, i thort i got thru it fine with the help of my other best friend but just over 2weeks my other best friend died as a result of a car accident and now it feels like a grieving for them both on my own and i cant really talk to anyone...not even my boyfriend understands how i feel.i just feel so alone and its a strange feeling after being surrounded by such livly people all the time.i dont like it

No name, 7 April 2008
my friend killed herself. i dont no why, she seemed so happy. i only spoke to her the week before it happened and she seemed fine. i wish i had spent more time with her so i could have maybe prevented her from doing it.

No name, March 08
Am 20, and my mum has been ill for some time, she died just 2 weeks ago. Already am back at uni and getting on with things, i sort of feel guilty that i should be sad all the time. What gets me through it is i know mum would want me to be happy and i wanna make her proud. She suffered for a long time and i know she is at a happier place today. I talk to her evryday and when am not sure about something i think - what mum would say. I feel safe ( a diff feeling) as if she is beside me and i cant see her. Sometimesi worry incase i havent properly acepted it yet, but what has happened has made me stronger, i never thought i could cope. It also has made me have a diff outlook on life - i just wanna make the most of everyday. Life will never be the same without my mum, but i have to deal with it. Am scared of when i get married and have kids, mum wont be there, that will hurt. I love u mum xxx

No name, 29 March 2008
My dad passed away a week ago, March 22, 2008.  It's so tough to sleep at night without thinking about him.  At times I think I'm starting to move past this but I will have  memories, albeit good ones, and will start crying. He was my best friend.  We shared a rather dry sense of humor and just seemed to do everything together.  I feel so sad for my mom but she is very strong.  I want to support her, but it's tough.  I suppose this will heal with time, but will never go away.  I miss him so much, and just want him to hold me and tell me everything will be ok.  I know he loved me very much and was very proud of me.  Please keep my family and I in your prayers.

joe, 20 March 2008
02.03.08 - hi my name is joe im 9 years old and ive just lost my girlfriend called josephiene.im really upset!

No name, March 2008
My mum died of bowel cancer on the 25th February 2008. She was going through the battle for 2yrs and 2 months. Im happy she is no longer in pain and know she is in heaven, because she was a good person. I do agree its not fair that the good go first.If you have lost someone, just remember they are always with u and protecting u.

Kristi, 7 March 2008
February 26th, was the darkest day of my life. My boyfriend had a car accident and hit a tree and suffered brain trauma for 10 days in the Burn/Trauma Unit in Norfolk, VA. He became responsive and all the swelling had went down, and 2 days later, he passed. It's now March 7th and all I have been doing is blaming God, but it's not the right thing to do. I feel like a ton of cinder blocks and my face burns from my tears and my chest is so sore from all the crying..I just feel for anyone anyone at all whom has lost a loved one, whether who it is..It seems so hard to do anything without being with him. But my words that I am going to stick by is, time heals. I don't know how, but I'm going to make it work. - Hope, Faith, Believe-

jade, February 24 2008
My auntie died on january 3rd. That date will haunt me for many years to come as the day we lost her .It s coming up to 2 months but it feels like a life time just knowing we wont see her again hurts so much she had 3 children one who was only 11 and mummy s  boy and i look at him and my heart breaks for him. However being strong as a family will get u through it .Everyday it get s that little bit easier.But the pain of losing some one will never fade away. Why is it always the good ones who have nothing but love to give who go first. I ll never understand how life works. I read stories on here and i feel for all the people. And prey that we all see are loved ones again in a different world. R we actually living in hell?! Who knows . X X X

michala, February 24 2008
i took my dad to a valentines dance with my mum at 7 30 pm on the 15/02/08 and at 11pm my older sister telephoned to say that dad was in hospital after collapsing. when i got to the hospial my dad had died. its been 8 days and i feel crushed. i cant understand how such a sweet,caring man could be taken away from us. im numb,helpless and empty. my dad was a strong believer in god and that comforts me knowing he wasnt scared of death,however im angry that god has got him and i havent. its unfair and i feel i will never feel the same ever again. if you hear this dad, I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH/and i hope you help me and mum gain strength . LOVE YOU AGAIN.XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

haley, February 2008
my dad died on the 21st january 2008 it was fast and sudden even tho he was ill all his life but i sa he was so stong to put wid his illness for 53 year and show his pain to any one i always say he had a goulden harte and im very proud to call him my dad but i just want someone my age to talk to about it and someone that has lost a mam or dad recenlty plz get in touch 

Leanne, 7 February 2008
My Mum died on 24th Jan 2008 after fighting cancer for roughly 13 years. She died at home with all the family around her telling her that we loved her. I feel so sad to have lost her so young, not having the chance to give her grandchildren, a wedding, all the things a Mum would be proud of. I miss her so much but most of all im so proud of how she battled the illness with dignity and never once complained. I love you Mum x

kerry, 21 Jan 2008
i lost my daddy three weeks a go and life as not be the sme a gen i keep wishing4 him to cum home but it just dos not wock like that
xxxx

From: no name, 13 Jan 2008
I lost my mum 4 weeks ago today ! I miss her soo much and feel that i cant go on anymore. i jsut want to rewind time and get her bck. I did mouth to mouth resusition to try and help her but she deid in my arms i am only 16 and very scared i jsut want her bck . please cn anyone help me c?

Archive up to end of 2007 is here