personal

my mum died

We've collected together some stories and experiences that have been sent into the website of how different people have felt after the death of their mum:

i live in a care home
kelly came in my room told me mum had died i was in bed with back ache i felt sick and my head was aching

I remember when I was young … I loved my mum so much some say I was too attached to her .. I always wanted to be with her even when she went to the loo or when she was in the bath I used to sit in the corner of the bathroom and talk to her. I used to pretend to be ill and not go to school so I could spend time with her.

She was a good lady who adored her children and would have made any sacrifice if it were to benefit my sister and I. She was beautiful, a real stunner with her big blue eyes and perfect smile, petite with a slim figure. I refer to my mum is the past tense because on the 3rd of May 2003 at 8.50pm I lost my mum to alcoholism. She had finally lost the battle she had fought for the past few years. I watched my mum deteriorate I watched has she changed from being fiercely independent, strong and beautiful person to someone who was ravaged by this terrible illness. If I could just have a few more minutes with her to tell her that I love her and how much I miss her I would give the world … I would give my life if it meant my little sis would never cry another a tear.. I wish that for the last second before she died when she opened her eyes to say goodbye that her blue eyes would have stayed open but they didn’t she was too tired she needed to rest she fell asleep. Wish the empty feeling would leave the pit of my stomach. My heart has been broken.

My mum had cancer she was only ill for 6 weeks and i still can't belive, you no i don't even wanna say it, somthing told me on the sunday night go and see her so i did and then the hospital rang up on monday and said that we sould go coz my mum was really ill and on sunday i kissed her good bye.We didn't think she was ganna die ethier did the doctors I love you mum and i allways will xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

my mom died wen i was 2 on june 17

About 3 months ago my mom died. i was very sad and i could not stop crying my mom was a very big peice of me! A couple of day after, my dad rang and asked if i would live with him and i've never seen him for 11 years ago.

one year ago my mom died and i was so mad beacause she died when i was at school and that morning before i had went to school she was kind of cold and she did not won't to wake up but she was mumbling something and when i went to school the principal call me down and when he said my mom is died i ran out of school and she was all ready gon.

my mum died two and a half years ago when i woz 11 i blocked it out of my memory but now my dad is marrying again and things are coming back to me and ive only just realized shes actually dead and shes never going to come back and its like shes only just died i wish she was here now.

My Mum died two years ago today, although this has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with, I feel a lot of positive things have come out of it. My Mum was very ill for a number of years, so in a strange way it was a relief as she was freed from her pain. I have become a much stronger person. I have grown up a lot quicker than I may have done otherwise. In the last two years I have achieved many things and I know she is proud of me, and I have a much closer relationship with my sister than I would have ever had before this happened. I think I am now putting my experiences to good use by helping others. If you are reading this and someone close to you has recently died - then I want to send you lots of love, because that is what got me through. Things have got a lot better, and that is down to my fantastic friends and family. I found the first year a major struggle, but I was so proud of myself that I got through it. I am writing this listening to a tape which I made shortly after my Mum died with songs which remind me of her - I have found this a great help when I am feeling down - I am always crying by the end of it, but I always feel better too. There are still things that scare me, the little things that I have forgotten , that she wont be there physically for major events in my life and there are so many questions that I have unanswered about when I was younger, but when I compare this to the amount of pain I saw her in everyday I know that things have worked out for the best. I still feel she is there watching over me and will be, pain free, for the rest of my life.

my mother passed away four years back - the same time as the football world cup.
everytime I spoke about it , tears would come to my eyes. Now, I can speak about her and be proud of the time I shared with her. - Whether I feel her every moment or not, I know she is always here with me.

6 years ago when i was 8 this year my mum died in a car crash with some drunk driver. i bottled up my feelings for years and i have only just started to talk about it. when ever i hear something slightly linked with her i end up crying , and i have found that i have to be doing some activity all the time to take my mind off it.

my mum died 6yrs ago, im now 19 yrs. its still so difficult to imagine my life without her.She was like a best friend and always their for me.I've 4 brothers and one sister and my dad but they all seem to get on with life not mentioning my mum.I struggle coping with everything.Everyone says you just have to 'accept' it and move on,its not that easy when the one you love more than anything in the world has gone.I still cant beieve it,I imagine shes always gonna appear and say she had to go somewhere for a while .I fear getting close to anyone again as I think im gonna loose them too.i feel lonely.

my mum died on the 30th jan this year and its still red raw in my mind it has helped me to read the letters you have posted but i really miss my mum im 15 and my exams are in a few months so im finding concerntrating really difficult i dont think im going to do as well as i expected as my mum is always in my head and sometimes its weird coz it feels like shes there with me does this sound stupid?and ive taken to cutting myself too so i think im going mad i cant talk to my dad because he might think im pshyco and i dont get on with my stepmum so it feels like im all alone my stepmum is making life extremely hard for me at the moment. My sister lives miles away from me shes 17 and finding it difficult too i need her but i cant leave until my exams are over so im stuck in a position i hate

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