personal

2 - 6 months

No name, March 2010
Its been about 6 months now sice my Grandad died and i feel more upset about it now then i did back then, i think its only now its really hit me. Its good to talk about it without a doubt. I have found teachers the best to talk to. I feel like it is a rollercoaster ride that i want to get off! Its only now i feel like i can talk about, but i can say this, crying helps!

lisa 12, 6 March 2010
i just lost my mums 5 months and 12 days ago ifeel as if i wanna go away and never come back or sometimes i wonna kill my self and i always feel it was all my falt and i want her to be here with me and i just have to im crying already and allways bring tears to my eye when i talk about her missu and always will love u mummy

No name, 25 February 2010
my brother died in august. it seems like years ago. it was such a shock and has taken this long to even sink in. ihere's a trial in a few weeks. i don;t even know how i feel about that really. my grandma died a couple of weeks ago. that was another massive shock. i miss her so much and feel emotional almost constantly about it. i think it's because my brother's death's just sort of hitting me now and i love them both so much so everything's becoming harder to cope with. it still sometimes doesn;t feel real. i cant really talk about it to anyone. i wouldnt even know what to say. brother...6 months. granny..2 weeks.xxx

Daniel, 23 February 2010
My dad passed away 15 weeks and two days ago. He was home alone. my mom and little sister away for a weekend retreat. I was gone to college. Two other sibilings who live at home were at work. And my other sister does not live at home. He was mowing the grass and had a heart attack. It happened somewhere around 2 in the afternoon. No one found him until 9 o'cock that night. I got the call from my mom, "Daniel you need to come home....i think your daddy's dead...he's not breathing" Click. I still want to cry every time I see his picture or think about him. I never thought it would be so hard. People go on everyday talking about there dad, talking to their dad on the phone, talking to their dad on facebook. I would kill to be able to do that again. I would give my life just to be able to say goodbye. I have not seen my dad in 113 days. I can't wait to see him again in Heaven. I don't want to be here anymore.

From: RD4U:
We are very sorry to hear that your dad passed away 15 weeks and two days ago. We hope we can help. It is good that you have posted this message and then other young people will reply and give support.

We have a Freephone helpline on 08088081677 which is open from 930am to 5pm Monday to Friday. Another very good helpline is called Childline on 0800 1111 and if you click here you will get the Childline website. If you want to talk to someone face to face for some support then we have branches of bereavement support workers and details of our branches are on the Cruse website if you click here.

I hope these ideas are helpful.

suffering 18 year old, February 2010
well i only turned 18 last september... my story is i used to live with my grandma nd granddad since i was 5 years old. Well my granddad died when i was 12 he was the bestest friend i could ask for we was soo close its hard for me till nw because when it my bday i think of him because it was the same day as his im still nt over that yet.....recently my grandma passed away last october this was really hard for me because it was soo sudden she didnt have any major illness the reason y i think its hard for me is because i was with her till she died.. and now i have to have responsibilities for the house that we all lived in...i still really miss them i dont really know how to get over them or cope..

Eilidh, February 2010
One of my favourite horses, who i had known since i was seven, had to be put down 3 months ago. I loved her so much andd we had so many good times. We were really close, I am actually crying as I write this now, I am not copng with her loss even today. She looked after me so well, I just miss her so much :'(

Laura, January 2010
I was on holiday when my grandma died, I feel guilty and responsible for her death, even though I know there was nothing that I could have done. i didn't really have the time to say goodbye properley. I just thought I'd have a good time on holiday, come back and see her again. But I didn't. I think that is what she would have prefered though, because she was always very considerate, and wanted other people not to get hurt. So, I think she will be looking down on us all now being the very proud,protective grand-parent that she always was. Her spirit helps me through difficult times, such as completing my exams and reading a verse from the bible at her funeral. I know that she will be there when I need help. When I walk down the aisle. She loves me and always has done and that is the best feeling that you can have about a dead realative or friend. I hope everybody lives a joyful life. Just remember your angel has their caring hand on your shoulder wherever you go, and whatever you do xxx

No name, January 2010
My nan had been in and out of hospital for two years. She would go in for one thing come out and be back in 2weeks later for something else. I never really thought of her dying but I knew in the back of my mind it was going to happen.
I was really close to my nan, she looked after me most of my life because my mum was ill and my dad left when I was 2.
She died at the beginning of September but it's only just hit me a few weeks ago that she was actually gone.
I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. I wouldn't talk to anyone and I wouldn't leave the house. I missed 2 weeks of schools and all my friends were really worried about me.
I went back to school last week and all my friends were really suportive.
I dont know where I'd be without them!

Elle x, January 2010
My dad commited susicide i loved him so so much me and my dad didn't get on very well bcz he gave my brothers and sis everything they wanted and when i told him he was wrong about stuff witch they didnt do . i stood up to my dad he didnt like that x he died on september 4 . my godmother found him i miss him so very much and i am sorry for everyone who has lost there dad's x
R.I.P dad love u forever xxx

See the archive of messages up to December 2009