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One to two months

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No name, 8 August 2008
My ex-boyfriend died about a month ago. It's been really hard. We weren't broken up very long, and we had spent over 4 years together. I try to be as normal as possible but there isn't a second I'm not thinking about him. I try to talk to him and it helps knowing he's around me. All I can do is share the great stories we had together and show how much he was loved. As much as I want to be with him now I will wait my turn, and I will wait patiently till we are reunited in heaven. RIP Sweetheart.

Tootss, July 2008
My Nan Died recently about 6 weeks ago and i cant get my head around that she is dead . i dont no what to do . she was my best friend and sum1 i could always go and talk to . she died while she was on holiday and i didnt get to say bi ... i no she luvs me like everyone tells me and i love her to . but that styll doesnt come to how much i miss her and want her back sometimes i feel like killing myself but my nan wouldnt want that she wants me to be happy and i want to make her proud but i dont no if she knowz how much i miss herr ....x

Chelsey, 28 June 2008 :
My Gran died May 2008, i'm finding it really hard to cope as we were so close and i don't really know what to say in this :S

sophie, 10 June 2008
my mum tragically died on may 16th

Hannah, 25 May 2008
I lost my friend Donna a month ago. I am so proud of her! For the majority of her life she battled with ilness but never let it pale her by. She was so funny and loved her cuddles! Dons, I love you! You were amazing!
XxXx We love Argos!

Megan, May 2008
My Grandad died on the 8th april 08 suddenly. Me, my older cousian and my little sister and my mum was with him when he died. we all miss him like mad. But we know he knew we all love him. miss you grandad
xxx

jay, March 2008
my brother died aout a month and a alf ago i dont no how to take it cause im just tryin to be my self  and when im laying there under the stars i see his face looking down on me smiling.  id give anything to have him ack not only were he my brother but he were the best friend  i always had he always were there for me when i got down or into trouble he never turnt me away e always listend to me cause he were just simply the best bloke that anyone could ask for i miss drinking with him in the pub or going out together i just miss everything we did even fight with each other.  but now i fell so lost  hurt and i just really dont no how to ake it it just does not seem to sink in and is there anyone out there that could help me in this situation 

Carole, March 2008
My dad died 4 weeks ago, very suddenly in hospital. The Coroner was involved and an inquest opened as to to the cause of death, and 4 weeks on my mam and I don't know what happened. It is very hard trying to 'move on' and I feel so angry with the lack of care he recieved in hospital that I have filed a complaint. I am the only child of my mam and dad who survived, my siblings all died pre-birth so have a very close bond with my parents, especially my dad who I cry for every day. I know in time it will get easier, but my life feels so empty without him.

kay, 12 Dec 2007
my dad killed himself 6 weeks ago he was my best friend n i want him back so much i would give the world to have hime back at home with me i miss his cuddles n his love i really need him in my life to look up 2 i dnt ever no how i will get back to normal love you always dad

No name, 10 Oct 2007
My Dad passed away on September 28th. I found him on his couch. I knew he had a terminal illness but cannot seem to cope with the loss. I feel completely lost, and lay down every night with butterflies in my stomach. I'm crying one minute and in complete shock the next. I went and visited him every Friday but am feeling guilty that I did not stay with him on Thursday night....because he always asked me to. It seems as if I always had better things to do.

Amy x, 1 Oct 2007
I lost my mum nearly a month ago on the 4th of september of cancer. it was a very hard time for me and my family because we knew it was going to happen and we were just waiting and we knew we couldnt do nothing about it. it really made me sad and angry. x at least she is in a better place now love amz xx

sammy joe, 21/09/07
one month ago my grandad died of cancer. I miss him soo much but i know that he is always going to be here thriugh thick and thin for me and my brother and sister.
We all wish that he was still here but we know that we cant have him back. We love him will all our hearts and it feels like part of us is missing but just for him we are going to remain strong and just look up to him and help our nan through this sad time.

Bethann, 13/09/07
I lost my boyfreind of 3 years in an auto crash one month ago from today. Not only was my boyfreind killed but my best freind was the driver and he was also killed. Ever sence the accident which i was just 5mins ago from & i was the first person to find the out the news from just driving up to the accident. i have tryed to keep myself busy. But i soon realized that its much more than just the love i miss from my boyfreind Todd. It's the things he did for me, and now i have nobody in my life that can do anything. I was the last person with him and my car broke down so I called up Keith{my best freind}and of course he came right over and gave Todd a ride to his house but they never made it. It's just so hard to think i will never see him again, and I can't hear his voice but I see him in my dreams and I can't seem to wake up. I just don't believe anybody when they say it will get easier. No body will ever replace my boys. I can't stand things anymore & everyone left me so I feel more alone now.

mary, 09/07
my dear mum died suddenly a mount ago.i love her.i cry when remember her.she was very kind and brave.my dad is so sad.i like to see her very soon....

Leila, 08/07
its been a almost a month since my mum suddenly passed away. i miss her more everyday. i still feel so hurt. i think my soul died with her.

Brianna 08/07
after school ended, the greatest guy ever asked me out. he was a miracle for me because most people don't like me in that way or ever will. we've been going out for a month in a half and for the last 3 weeks, ive seen him every day, talked to him, touched him, and i felt him become a part of me. i came home from work, and my mom told me he passed away. i didn't believe it, because he was just there the day before. it turns out he had a heart attack at the yung age of 16. No one could ever be better than him, and i love him so much. he told me he loved me. we had so many plans for the future. i just dont know what to do anymore. im tired of living, he made me truly happy for once, and without him, im nothing.

lyndsay 07.07
my dad died a month ago today 29/06/2007 it was really unexpected and i miss him sooo much, i went to see him the day before i said bye and told him i loved him, but i didnt know that was the last time id see him alive. there aint a day go by when i dont think of my dad, i cant believe he has gone. i hope one day we can be together again soon. xxxx xxx

Kylie 07.07
I lost my father a month ago after he fought for 6 months with cancer it was the toughest 6 months I have been through watching my dad slowly die and now his gone I am finding it hard trying to come to terms with it I have not slept in ages I am seeing a counsilor I am an emotional mess I miss him lots and I never got to say goodbye to him before he passed away it's not fair.

JESSICA 07.07
MY DAD JUST DIED ON APRIL 18 , 2007 AND TODAY IS MAY 16, 2007. ITS ALMOST BEEN 1 MONTH SINCE HE DIED I MISS HIM SO MUCH AND IT ISNT FAIR HE WAS ONLY 47 AND I JUST DONT KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED AND I JUST TURNED 15 TWO MONTHS AGO SO HE GOING TO MISS SO MUCH OF MY LIFE AND NO ONE WOULD REALLY TELL ME 4 SURE WHAT HAPPENED.

XcharlieX 07.07
my grandad died 5 weeks ago from Stomach cancer , i was there when he died, i had been by his bedside eveyday for 3 months before he died, i felt so bad coz i hav never seen hm in so much pain, i still cant get it out of my head, i dream it almost every nite and every time i think of him that thought cums into my head again. it is his birthday on friday the 8th june. i dont not sure but since he died my grandma has been really anoying me but she has done nothing but be around all the time. my gr8 grandad died just before christmas from lung cancer and my gr8 nana has Stomach cancer too but has been diagnosed 3 years ago but now is slowly deteriating, the worst thing is about it is that the chemo had worked but the doxtors would not do the operation that bit gets me really wound up.

(anon) 07.07
On the 11th april 2007, my dad died. A week before he died he was quite ill, a doctor came to see him and said he was fine. And on the 11th april, i went up to his room to wake him and he was layed across the bed so i thought he was asleep and started to tap him and told him to wake up then i looked at his face and his eyes were open then i felt for a pulse and couldnt fine one. so i called my mum from upstairs and she raced upstairs, i called the ambulance and the man told my mum to try resusatate him but by the time the ambulance got there he was dead. My regret is that no one was there with him when he died and i never got to tell him how much i loved him, i just hopes he knows that.

Jennifer 07.07
My dad died a month ago. I watched him stuggle for 8 years with a terminal illness and it was very hard for me to come to terms with losing him because he was one of my very best friends and I couldn't possibly believe that someone that close to me could die. He was a fighter, but there was nothing that the doctors could do and his body simply shut down. I feel lost and empty and alone. My husband is wonderful to me and a great support system to help me get through this but there isn't anything he can do to fill that void in my life. My father was very important to me and I miss him so much. It has been really hard for me to go back to school and work after the funeral and carry on with my everyday routine. My heart goes out to my mom too because just 2 1/2 months ago, her mom died. Within 5 weeks, she lost her mom and her husband. This year has been really tough on my family and I have said many many prayers for God to give my family stength and hope.

amy 07.07
my grandad died last month and i still can't believe it. i keep thinking of how he opened the front door and gave me a huge hug every time. he used to call me his "little love". it hurts me so much that he won't be here to see me turn 18, or pass my exams and become an air stewardess which is what he wanted me to do. i keep trying to be strong for my grandma and my mum and uncle. I didn't see him after he died but i am wondering now if it would of helped. i want him back and i keep crying at school and at work. I want him back. Will it get any better?

Julie 07.07
I lost my boyfriend of two years a month ago today. He died tragically in a motorcycle accident at the age of 22. I was not religious before, but now I know that his spirit must live on. I am ok because I tell myself that I am going to see him again one day. But not yet. Everyday I miss him more. He was my best friend and this is the worst thing that could ever happen to me. But, for anyone who thinks about suicide, think about your own family and friends. It is just not your time yet. Your job now is to make use of everything you learned from your loved one and to accomplish those things that he/she didn't have a chance to do. There is no use in having regrets. Just remember the good times and know that he/she is in a good place with the loved ones who went before them.

Nicola 07.07
My Dad died at the beginning of July... i had just got home and gone to bed. My mom shouted for me and my dad had collapsed... i called 999 and did CPR... but it was too late. He had died from a heart attack.
I miss my Dad so much... but i am being strong for my Mom, because i am all she has as my sisters are married and live away from home.
I am numb to all of it... i take comfort in that it happened quickly and he didnt suffer, he looked so peaceful and he is now with his mother and he is stress free.
My dad was my hero... and i miss him so much. I will love him for the rest of my life.

Elle 07.07
It's been a month since my Dad passed away and it still hasn't sunk in. I expect him to walk in any minute and ask what's wrong with me and why I have a sad face. When I think of him it hurts because he won't be there to give me away at my wedding, to laugh if I fail my driving test, to take me out when I recieve my GCSE results or to see my children. I witnessed his passing and whenever I close my eyes, it replay's like a horror movie never leaving me in peace. At fourteen I have so many regrets but I know how much he loved me and I hope he knew how much I loved him too.

(anon) 07.07
My boyfriend died young of a massive heart attack. I think he knew he was dying, as I go over in my mind things he said. He seemed to be pushing me away, but saying he loved me at the same time. I have no doubt that he loved me. We had an argument before he died. How do you get by how it ends this way? We had incredible fun and could talk all day and all night to each other.

Harry 07.07
my brother had a poorly heart he had go to hospital he had eight people operating on him he died after.

Amber xxx 05.07
My boyfriend died 6 weeks ago, he took his own life. I had an argument with him the night he did it and know i could have changed his mind if we had made up. I never did get to say i love you. I wish i could turn back time. I just want him to know how much he means to me. He didnt leave a note. So i have nothing.

Lesli Ann 05.07
My dad died 5wks ago from cancer, he was only diganosed 3 months to the day he past away.. I can never rember my dad being ill in all my life untill this, when me and my sister were given the news tht he only had a few days left to live, we were expectings it, but nothing could have prepared us for tht moment he passed away, the most important thing for me and my sis was tht dad had excepted the fact tht he was going to die at 58yrs and he did, "ive had a good life" is what he said and its true he did so many ppl loved him , he lived his life to the full, i was scared tht i would never get the image of my dad dieing in his hospital bed looking thin , weak and in so much pain, but just 5wks on i have, i think its because it was just a small fraction of his happy fullfilled life.. xx

.... 04.07
My Grandad died not long ago and my grandma is really depressed and it makes me sad to see her like that.
Plus School is just making it worse when all the other kids tease.

chazalina 04.07
i lost my great aunt 4 weeks ago i was so close to her and i miss her very much. its really hard to cope as i still havnt come to terms with my stepgrandads death when he died in august 2006. everybody says im just unlucky. some days i feels so deppressed that i want to kill myself but i dont beacuse of my grandma who is so special.

(anon) 04.07
One of my best mates died in a car crash.
I'd been through it before when my best friend in the whole world died 3yrs previous but...this was so hard.
I keep expecting to see him come round the corner on his bike or...see him at a house party we've decided to gatecrash.
It was his 16th birthday last thursday and...that was hard. My ex-boyfriend/also best mate was best mates with him and seeing him torn up about it made me feel worse.
I'd do anything to bring him back...He never knew how much he meant to me...Or how much i need him here...I have no idea how to cope with this, it was easier last time cause i lived across seas but now, it's with me and around me everyday, everywhere i go i see him and hear him echoing and everything but i look for him and he's not there. I don't know what to do, at all.

(anon) 04.07
My best friend died. He had just had a birthday. We grew up together, turned adults together. Double dated. told each other our hopes, dreams, fears. We had fights, don't we all. But I always loved him through it all. I ache, and I know this emptyness will always be there. It is a gift to have and know someone who makes your life better. Who makes you better, my friend did this. I will never forget, I will never "get over it" I miss my friend, I miss you.

Sid 04.07
My best friend died in a car accident last month. A few days back I was asked to give an eulogy for him. I mumbled some general words about death and got off the stage before I lost control of my emotions. I feel I let him down.
Every little thing reminds me of him. I'm certain that he was the most amazing friend I have ever had till today. i remember seeing him lying on a cold slab wrapped in a white sheet. Its so hard to believe that we wont ever have another snack together at our favorite joint, or sing along together to songs that nobody else ever seemed to know except the two of us.
He lived a good life and he showed me how to live life and what it is to be a man.
I miss him very much.

(anon) 04.07
my bf died from a beating and i was left with a beautiful daughter called Lily.

(anon) 03.07
i lost my dad on 20 jan 2007, still cant believe or accept it. i really want him to visit me an tell me he is ok, actually i think i might be losing the plot because im quite content to believe that he is still at home, when i think about the day he died an the day of his funeral it doesnt seem real, its like watching a movie about someone else playing in my head.

girl 03.07
I lost my boyfriend, my best friend, one month ago today. every second my chest just feels like its going to rip in half. I dont wanna move on. I dont wanna move. I dont wanna breathe. I miss him so much. he was on his way home from mine. just on his way home. jus. the lest thing i sed to him is hello. how can that be the last and first thing you say to a person. he isnt meant to be dead.

chaz 03.07
well im 15 and mu dad died on january 10th 2007. He was the best dad in the world. regret nothing as i did everything with him. This is the hardest thing ive ever Dealt with in my life. I hate everyday with out him. A part of me died when he did. Iwish he was here. Its just starting to sink in that my dad will never be there for my birthdays, 1st cars, my wedding, everything realy. I love him so much and i just want him back. Why? R.I.P DAD x

(anon) 03.07
I had only been dating my boyfriend for a year and some months, we lived together and enjoyed everyday. We fought alot but it was just our relationship and we learned to get over it everytime. When my boyfriend was murderd i was 5 months pregnant. We had looked at wedding rings, just got out of debt, and things were going great. This was the most tragic loss in my life. He was my best and only friend,(being pregnant I discluded myself from all of my old firends). I feel so alone, and lost with a baby on the way. It hurts the most knowing he will never know his baby or be the wondeful father he would have been. I have never ever been religious but dealing with this i felt i had nothing else to turn to cuz all i want is to be with him again someday.

Olivia 03.07
my boyfriend died and im findin it soooo hard. i constantli cry and i no longa talk to ma friends or ne1 in public. i reeli want to die myself but i no wot its like to loose sum1 so i just cnt.

(anon) 02.07
My mum died two days before christmas. She was a healthy 43yr old, she went to bed one night and the next morning i found her dead. I still struggle to believe that she is gone, it doesnt seem real. My life just seems full of emptyness now. She was my whole life!!

mike 02.07
I am 19 years old and my dad has gone thru alot of trouble with drug addiction in the past 2 years , he recently died of an overdose, and i have a hard time thinking that we'll never do any of the things that we used to do like golfing, fishing, etc. ever again.......i always cry when i remember the good times.

Katie 02.07
My nan died in december 2006
in hospital one minite she was fine the next she was ill and it was like tha 4 about 17 days wen we found out she had cancer and 2 days later she dided.
i am copin very well considering we were very close so just hold on and one day u will be reunited with ya lost 1.

(anon) 02.07
my best friend darryl died 1 month ago, it feels like yesterday, it was a really strage day, i woke up and went to school and i got a migrane during school so i went home, on the way home my dad told me that something bad had happend and that we'd talk about it when we got home, when i got home i saw my mom crying and she told me that darryl had died the day before of namonia. i wanted to go to the funeral but i couldnt cause darryl lived in New york. Everyone thinks im over it but i cry almost everyday.

Ashley 01.07
About a month and a half ago my boyfriends step father and i found him dead, down an embankment in his back yrd. Apparently he fell and never woke up. I had to call 911, i had to see my baby dead. This is the hardest thing i have ever had to deal with and i want to be dead. His mother has really pushed me away, my parents hated him and are very, very unsupportive and i cannot escape them. It is so hard to lose the one person who loved me for me and was there for me like noone else was, and no he's gone. The pain is so horrible. How is it possible to go on?

Jem 01.07
Gosh it's nearly a month...My mum was 43 and died on 22nd November 2006, 9 days after my 21st b'day. She had always been ill wiv sumthing or other but this time she seemed pretty healthy and went into hospital for a small op that had 9% risk and ended up on a ventilator for 19 days and dying. I haven't accepted it yet and still think shes out shopping and will be back soon but its never happened. I can't imagine life without her + it breaks my heart to c my step-dad so upset. I don't wana grow up without her + have kids + marry. She should be part of it! Please come back mum we all need you xxx

Charlotte 01.07
I wrote in before when it had only been 2weeks.
It's been nearly 7 weeks now, it was my birthday last friday 15th dec. I was looking forward to it, but also dreading it.
I got a card from my step-dad and he still put love from mum and steve, which made me happy but sad as deep down i know she's not here anymore.
To me, 7 weeks down the line, it's only got worse, i cry when anybody mentions mums, i get jealous of other people, they have mums and i don't have one anymore, i cry at mostly anything.
Words can't ever describe the way im feeling, i cant express it no matter what i do. I hate it i hate everything.
Its 6days until christmas and i seriously do not want it, my birthday was enough to deal with...xmas means nothing. But theres my 2 little brothers to think about and i am just dreading it.
I feel frustrated sometimes because i feel like i can't talk to anyone, i try but its not everything i would like to say and no matter what anybody says nothing helps and no-one knows that to say for a start.
All they can say is i'm sorry and i'm always here for you. But the thing is i dont think they are...they ask if you're ok, you say yes but deep down your not and so they think ahh thank goodness! But then if you turned round and said what you were really feeling they don't know what to say.
I just hate being without my mum i will love you mum forever and always x

Laura 11.06
My mum died of cancer on the 13 october 2006. its not until now that whats happened has really hit me and im not really sure what to do now and im not coping very well...the one person i turned to isnt there anymore and my best friend has gone, she was my soulmate and everyday i miss her more and more and every day i think of the things she wont be around to share with me and thats so hard for me to deal with. i need her here, its so unfair that she was taken away from us. loving you always mum x

Laura 11.06
my dad died almost a month ago he was the world to me he also knew that he would not make it to 37!! he was 35!!!
just two more years and he would have been fine!! but no!! he had to leave me my sister and brother and mother!!
sure we got alot of money for his death but screw that money i want my daddy!!
I have changed sinced my daddy died and i need someone to talk to no one will understand me if they try...but they can.

(anon) 11.06
my dad died on the 21st october 06 from cancer that we didnt know he had until 3 days before. he hadnt been feeling well at the end of summer but we just thought he was a bit ill but now it all makes sense... we were all with him when he died. it was horrible to watch my daddy just leaving us forever and i miss him so much. i dont know how i am going to hope.

Ashley 11.06
My boyfriend joey died 1 month ago. Im 15 years old and hes was 18. we were together for 1 year. i knwon him scince i was lil tho. we cared about eachother more than anything else. he was so much more than just a "boyfriend" he was my bestfriend. I was in the car when it happen. it was a friday night. i cant stop thinking about him. all i do is cry. i wanna be with him. its still so hard to belive but i know i have too. alot of the times i just wanna die. and i think about doing stupid stuff but i know he wouldnt want me to do that. i love him . im so confused i feel like i can not go on. i just got on medication but i dont know if thats gonna help. i just wanna see him. ahh! im really am lost with out him. i know he will help me out tho and be my own garudian angel :)

Ell 11.06
my nan died on 11th october 06 and ever since she died i have felt empty and sick. she was an amazing woman who coped with cancer and various illnesses leading up to her death. i don't feel normal anymore and feel like life isn't the same. i sometimes find it hard to breathe and can't carry on life as normal.

(anon) 11.06
I lost my boyfriend of 3 years on Oct.3. It was an accident. He called me the morning he died and told me he loved me and wanted to get married. I am not dealing w/his loss very well. How do I move on???

patricia 11.06
my mum died on the 26th september 2006 the day my world fell apart. i knew my mum was ill she had multie system atropthy which is a muscle disease she was the most beauitful person i have evr known. i long for her every day i cry i look for her and i can never find her i know she is with my dad but this pain in my heart is so sore its like someone has ripped my heart out and im so empty. everyday i say i will make today my day for getting stronger but it never happens . i just want her back so much but i know im beening selfish for she would never want to come back for she is with god in his beauitful kingdom i know i will be with her one day and that will be forever. so mummy if you can hear me i love you so much and i miss you sleep tight my angel love always patricia.

Amanda 10.06
my gran died on the 4th september 2006. She was fighting to the end she was in hospital for 5 weeks the day she died i had phoned the hospital to check to see how she was and they told me to get down as soon as possible. When we got there gran had died she was alone. Now i am hurting really bad I have nightmares panic attacks nad my life seems empty I cant talk to my family as they are not supportive enough I feel guilty too as my I live with my grampa and he has altzhimers and he keeps asking where she is and i have to lie too him as telling him upsets him. Sometimes I want my life to end so that i can be with her and nothing anyonesays will take the pain away from my heart, I just want to see her again and let her know that i love her.

Simone 10.06
My grandma died a month ago today, and i feel like a complete wreck. she died just two days before i got back from a year long placement abroad. i didn't get the chance to tell her how much i loved her, i took it for granted that there would always be tomorrow.
it was such a shock to find out she had died, no one expected it even though she was 85 years old. she was the most out going 85yr old you would ever meet.
I miss her so much i don't know how to cope, on the outside i look normal and go about my daily stuff, but inside im screaming in pain and regret. regret that i will never get to say that i love her or tell her how my day was.
I miss you so much grandma. I wish i had just one more day with you.
You'll always be in my thoughts, i love you grandma xxx

Jade 09.06
My dad died about a month ago and it dont seem to be true i always have that feeling that he is coming home and that hes just on a buissness trip or something he died in a diving accident and ive been heart broken ever since you ever get that feeling that your heart is just broken in half because the other person that makes it whole isnt there no more? i got that feeling losing someone you love hurts, i feel like nothing in the world can make it better but like everyone says you got to pick your self up and more on!!! few weeks before he died i had a argument with him and i never got to say how much i loved him and that i was sorry but i no that he nos im sorry i just want him to come back!!! :(

tracey 08.06
I lost my brother in june 2006. We new he was depressed but thought he was getting the help he needed to get through this. he got to the stage where he couldnt cope no more so he went to the place he loved most and drank a bottle of wine then took a massive herion overdose. I miss him so much and wish i could off took away the pain he was feeling  so that he wouldnt of felt the need to end his life.

(anon) 07.06
my grandad died at the begining of the year because of a heart atack.
my auntie died 2months ago after sufforing from cancer
and my dad died 5 weeks ago after he took his own life.
i just cant cope anymore. my dad was my best friend. i physically and mentally cant cope with anymore strain on my life. i feel like i need to 'let go' of something but i dont know what! all this pain is weighing me down, and i need somebody to help me stand up properly again. why is no-one out there helpin me!

Gaby 07.06
I lost touch with my friend Suzana for almost 10 years and last year, a mutual friend found me and gave me her phone number.
We reconnected and it felt like we were never apart. We chatted on the msn and Suzana got to "see" my daughter and husband and we all got very close.
Last month, Susie went to have a stomach stapling surgery (she was really looking forward to it...). And during the surgery, she had a heart attack and ended up passing away some days later.
I still can't believe she is gone...

(anon) 07.06
i lost my nan a month ago after she lost her 5 year battle wwith alzhiemers, even though i knew it was inevitable i just thought that she might just recover. now that she is gone i feel alone, i never realised how much space i had for her in my heart i just feel empty, i feel like i cant talk to anyone who is close to me, and i just want to be with her, i miss her and i think about her all the time.

(anon) 07.06
I watched my dear loving Mum suffer terribly with cancer and it breaks my heart.  It's all quite recent and the pain of her loss it so hard to bear but I hope that she is now pain free and with her mother who she lost very young. 

raks 07.06
i lost my brother a month ago. he was misdiagnosed back in 2003 and found out his fate this jan me and my family thought he had longer to live. he chnaged so much that i for got how my brother used to be.
At first i was fine i saw frinds got on with life i think i was numb now all i do every day is cry i dont feel like socilasing and nothing really makes me happy. i feel really low and no onwe can help me as no one canreally understnd.

rachael 06.06
my mum died just over a month now of a form of dvt, we didnt know she even had it. she only fied about 6 times in here life the sign of dvt were picked out so we didnt know she had it til she died unfortally. I LOVE YOU MUM AND ALWAYS WILL DO. YOUR NEVER EVER BE FOGOTEN MUM. YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME AND TONY YOUR HUSBAND AND ROBERT YOUR SUN. i really dont know what to do now, i mean i haveing to do a lot running around about my brother because he is disabled and has no commication at alll unfotally he dosent know that he's mums disabled
any body can help measge me pleae

Jane 06.06
I lost John, the love of my life six weeks ago in tragic road accident. I am a zombie and it feels like my life is gone with him.
I miss him so much and its hard to believe i will never see him again. John was religious. The night before his death we talked about the newly discovered documents which claim that Judas' betrayal of Jesus was a cover-up. John said that the bible says that in the last days such controversies would come up. The morning of his death he told me that he had found his god and was very confident. The other things he talked about that morning now sound like he had a premonition about his death. He told me he had had a blissful year from our friendship.
John was a gentleman who showed how a woman should be treated by a boyfriend. I miss him so much, its like a dream. I wonder but it seems like its good souls who depart from us so early. It feels like my life is over without John. I feel like I should die and join my love. There is just nothing worth doing without him. I hope it gets better over time.

sarah 05.06
my mum who was always really fit shoed no signs... until 3 mths ago when it affected her ability to walk or do normal things... we was told that she had m.s and shed have her good days n bad but actually she was dying of lung cancer... we wouldnt change a single thing but its been a month now since our mum left us ---- and the pain is heavy it wasnt cancer that done it... it was pneumona in someways it was less painfull... but the pain in us goes on... much loved... unbelivable... my mum... i love u so much you were so brave and never moaned.

m.d. 05.06
my friend died a month ago... the reason is still unknown... i was looking at her when she was lying in a casket and i couldn't believe that she, not somebody else, is lying there... i still cant't believe now... she apperars in my mind so many times a day, but it feels like she's still here... and everytime when i go out with my friends it looks like only this time she's not with us... like she has some deals and cannot be with us... and sometimes for a second i realize that she is truly gone and there comes panic, but after another second it comes as a nonsence... it is a nonsence...

Naomi 05.06
My Nanna died about a month ago now she was a very happy lady she was fine until she had a funny turn and ad to go to hospital they said she wud get better but she didnt a few days later they said they was going to turn the machines off at dinner so me my mum and brother all went to see her....i went in the room and kissed her on the forhead and told her i loved her and said goodbye...my brother didnt want to go in the room as he is 2 years younger than me he could not cope so he sat in the realtives room with some other family...i went in to see her twice just to make sure it was not a dream i was in but then it kicked in it was real..i wasnt living a dream i was living life !!! we then went home and about an hour later we got the phone call my mum after finishing on the phone screamed it always appens to the best ones!! i cried so much i did not think i had no tears left to cry...its still hard.

neil 05.06
mum died on 22 march06 ,just do not know how to deal with it .how do you cope ,i just dont know

charlie 04.06
my mum had cancer she died on 25th march 2006 my mum was the closest thing to me i dont no what to do without her im lost. my mum was the sort of person that would listen to you befor she takes sides and cares for everone i love her soooo much and always will i will never ever forget her she was one of a kind and se always will be LOVE YOU SOO MUCH MUM

Willow 04.06
My Grandma died on the 9th of March... She was ill for years.. suffered everyday and was in pain non stop... I had problems at home with my mum so i went to live with her at 13.
I looked after her with my grandad.. but it just wasnt fair.
She went into hospital to see what they could do for her... 5 weeks later, as I was going to see her, my grandad phoned to say she had just died.
It was the biggest shock ever. I thought she was going to get better.
She had, had her leg amputated just 2 days before. I thought she would be ok. But they said it was too much for her and she suffered a stroke and then heart attack.
The thing I regret the most is hardly seeing her. I only went to hospital twice because she was supposed to be coming home 'Soon'.
I got to the hospital 30 minutes after she died... 30 minutes too late. I'll never forgive myself for that. I never said goodbye.
The worst part is that I saw her after she died.. and that image will remain in my mind forever.
My grandma was a second mum to me, she ment more than the world and everyone in it to me, and I love her more than life itself.
I'd give anything to have her Back, without the pain.
I just hope she knows how much I love her and how lost I am without her.
I never thought I could feel pain like this.

(anon) 03.06
my dad died on the 24th of Jan. I think it could have been prevented. the hospital staff had no idea how sick he was, me and my boyfriend (I am a nurse and he is a doctor) tried to save him on the day he died. I feel we should have done more. I miss him so much, i feel i have failed him

Marie 02.06
Hi if i could say one thing to my mum before she died i would say that i love you mum and that i did not mean anything what i had said to you and you are the best mum in the world
i wish we could go out one last time and just have some fun we would go to black pool or to go and see you favoirate person elivis presly mum i love you and every one miss you. I wish you can be back her with me so i can just give you a big kiss and a hug i love you mum. xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxo
you mean the world to me you are nut just my mum you are my best friend and that will always stay that way. She died of breast cancer and lung cancer she was a lovly person and she did not desvere to die she did not smoke or anything its been a month since she die and the hardest thing was seeing her die infront of me and i was use less

Lauren 02.06
my boyfriend died over a month ago now. people say it gets easier but it seems 2 just get harder as i miss him more and more each day. All i can do at the moment is try 2 block it out, srunch it up in 2 a little ball and flick it away. but that makes me feel guilty and disrespectful. This is the hardest thing i've ever had 2 deal with...i just feel so numb. X x x

(anon) 02.06
My sweet father died on christmas eve after a long battle with agonizing and debilitating cancer. He had feared cancer all of his life, and he was terrified of dying. In the last week he was barely able to squeeze my hand. He wore diapers and was completely paralyzed from the bone cancer. He hadn't walked in months. I told him it was OK to go. I told him I would take care of everyone for him and it would be OK. I even told my husband that I would like him to go before Christmas Day, so that I could convince myself he had become a Christmas Angel. I wanted to tell my children he would be helping Santa Claus. I wanted to remember him every year like a glowing force in the Christmas lights.

The evening he passed I had been visiting and I went home to rest. The nurse said she would call when it was time for a last "goodbye". She thought I would get a few hours notice so I left.

She phoned me just after midnight at the start of Xmas Eve and I rushed back, but he had already passed.

I am so upset at myself for telling him it was OK to go. He couldn't reply at the time. What if he didn't want to? What if he was still scared? What if he thought I didn't want him around anymore? My husband heard my "goodbye" chat with him and says it was beautiful but I can't believe it. I am convinced that I upset him and he died of a broken heart.

The guilt is unbearable even if, in your logical mind, you know it isn't your fault. I hope this is just a stage.

It's been 6 weeks and I miss him so much that I could scream. Why did I tell him to go?

kim 01.06
my brother left me before christmas he was the only person that i could talk to

kat 01.06
my boyfriend died a month ago. ive been really upset about it. i loved him so much, he will always be close to me where ever i am still

hannah 12.05
just over a month ago my nan died and i was really upset now this was the third death in 3 years i felt the world was tumbling down on me.

Kailey 12.05
I lost my boyfriend on 27th Nov 2005 in a tragic car crash. He was on his own driving back from his friends house, and wasn't found till 4 hours later. I feel so hurt inside and lonely, because i spent everyday with him. i have lots of mates but they will never compare with Andrew. i have been going round his house alot to spend time with his mum & dad which is helping me. the pain seems to get worse as i am now longing for him because i miss him so so much.

(anon) 12.05
My friend was stolen, almost a month ago in a car crash. I still can't beleive i'm never going to see him again, it's his birthday in the up coming weekend and I'm lost about what to do. He was the genuinely one of the greatest people you could ever hope to meet its so unreal.

Nikki 12.05
My mum died on the 24th Oct. I'm 23 and was at uni when my dad came to tell me. I took a month of uni and now i'm back. At first i felt quite positive and i could cope with it but its only now that i'm startin to realise i can't do it alone. I'm going to speak to someone this week cos i just feel this massive wight on my shoulders all the time and even though even keeps saying how strong i am i feel as though i'm not. And, if everyone else thinks i'm being strong then does that mean i don't care that she's gone? I don't know, because i had so much time away i can't help thinking that everyone thinks i'm alright.

ann 11.05
my dad died 6 weeks ago.i miss his so much,my mum has got rid of everything in the house of him.its as if he was never there.,i am so glad i was with dad when he passed.I held him and gave him a kiss on the head as he went.strange, but i did not cry that morning,it was the next day i cried.i went to work & the family said i was being unsensitive.I was dealing with it the best way i knew how.i didnt want to sit in house and go crazy thinking what next.when does the emptyness go.

Chelsea 11.05
My friend Elise died a month and 10 days ago. I was at my homecoming dance. She was in New Jersey, we live apart. She was hit by a car, that's all I know. I found out about it a month ago from my best friend (her best friend who introduced me to her). I miss her so much. She was helping me with learning to play my guitar and was helping me deal with my problems with self-harm. She was only 14, like me. She was too young to die. I don't even know who hit her but I hate them for not seeing her or for being too drunk to react in time. She was so happy and joyful and always doing something in school. It was so much fun talking to her about her school and how NJ was compared to where I live and about her after-school sports. It wasn't fair at all, everyone loved her so much.

lizzie 11.05
my grandma just die and i am taking it really bad i lived with her my whole life she was the best grandma a girl could have she loved ever one she was my best friend it dose not seem real to me i just want her back she used to talk to me about everthing but she got really sick i did not want to talk to her i did not want her to see me cry so u should talk to the one u love who is sick and tell them how much u love them i told her i loved he before she die so take the time u have and put it to the people u love life is not long at all and gose bye so fast do what u think they want u to do and tell them u love they no u do they love u to

Amy 11.05
My Grandad died on the 15th of October and he had his funeral a week after. i miss him loads. He was a very nice peron but it was time for him to go. See you soon Grandad!!!

Ken 10.05
It's been a month since I lost my best mate,Steph.She meant the world to me and I really loved her.I will miss her forever and talk to her all the time

Katy 10.05
Still after a month of my dad's sudden death i am finding it hard to cope without him, i feel so lonely like there is a part of me missing. I picture him standing next to me, i miss him so much and will never forget him. He will always stay with me. Katy x

(anon) 10.05
Hey, I'm putting this here because it may help, getting things out a little. I'm 14 years old.My Dad died on the 17th September, 2005. (A month today) from a car accident. I'm not sure how it happened, but I know that I miss him to bits. I went though all his funeral, and burial, and didn't cry. I had a tear slip, that's all.
I feel guilty for not seeing him sooner, and that If i hadn't gone to my Grandma's party, and stayed with him, I think it somehow wouldn't of happened. But it did, and i can't bring him back. I just think he's there somewhere taking care of me still, love you lots Dad, Never forgetting you. xxx

shantih 10.05
I am 13 and my mum has died from cancer. I cant help feeling that if I was a nicer girl and been a better daughter she would not have left me. i was close to my mum but in a love hate sort of way. i never really thought that she liked me that much. i never got a chance to say goodbye to my mum and tell her how much she really meant to me. and now i am so sad cause i dont want her to think that i didnt care and didnt love her cause i did and i miss her so much. i feel so alone and angry at myself that i wasnt enough for her to fight the cancer and stay with me.

(anon) 10.05
My boyfriend died last month in a skateboard accident. I think I died with him too. I miss him so much. This pain is insane. It stings so bad.

(anon) 10.05
My boyfriend died a month ago in a tragic head-on-collision carcrash.He was only 19.He meant the world to me and i wish i could see him again.My freinds try yo support me but its hard for them because they dont no what its like.It is hard when you wake up because you think your going to see him but then you wake up to the reality that he isnt there.I keep telling myself i should have rang him or done something but then again he himself didnt know it was going to happen. i loved him so much we wer soulmates we never argued never fougt we couldnt we wer both so alike. i kno i will see him one day and he will open up the gates for me. To everyone else who has the same loss all you can do is keep your chin up its what HE would want.
IN LOVING MEMORY
X Nathan X
6/1/86 ~ 29/8/05
YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN
x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x

Tom 10.05
My best friend died suddenly of a brain aneurysm one month ago. I miss him like crazy and want to talk to him. Even a month later I'm still in shock and can't believe it's real.

vicky 09.05
my nan died on the 8th of augest she had been suffring with cancer in 3 places for about 3 months it was a big shock to find out she has died but i know that she isnt suffring and more. i miss her soo much

fara 08.05
my nana died about a month ago from a heart attack i'd just come back from a holiday and the day i got back she went in to intensive care.sometimes i can be happy while other times i'll just start crying. other times i just feel angry for no reason and take it out on anyone.

Kate 08.05
My best friend from school died last month. She died while sleeping, and I usually feel fine in the daytime but at late evening and night I start to feel tearful, scared and nervous. It's only very recently hit me that I will never see her again and I am dreading the first day of school as she won't be there to sit next to me.

rosie 07.05
My grandpa died just over a month ago and I am finding it hard to adjust, I went away on holiday with my friends the week after the funeral and I feel as if ive missed out on...i dont even know what. I loved him so much but even though I didnt see him all the time I just really miss knowing that hes there. And I feel as if i dont have the right to be upset or something because my uncles and my mum have lost their dad and I should be strong. I guess you have your good days and bad days and today i just cant stop thinking of wat id like to ask him and tell him...he was such a great man and i feel as if im not going to do him justice or something.

Emma 07.05
Im 21 and my mother died very suddenly on the 1st of june this year, i never thought id loose her as it was the one thing i prayed most not to happen since the death of my dad when I was 10. I feel so many mixed feeling sometimes when my boyfriend is around me and he takes my mind of things im fine other times i just cant stop crying. The one thing that keeps me going is knowing that my mum and dad are now together again....im worried though as after my dad died I gained a huge fear of death, and started worrying alot about illness' and dying..I dont want to get like that again..i feel very lost, and with out Ross ( my boyf) I couldnt of got though it.

nicole 07.05
my uncle died about 1 month ago and im still realy upset i no its not my mum or dad that has died but i was realy close to my uncle i just want someone 2 talk 2.

nicole 06.05
my uncle died about 1 month ago and im still realy upset i no its not my mum or dad that has died but i was realy close to my uncle i just want someone 2 talk 2.

jackie 06.05
My Dad died 1 month ago.I feel a pining for him and although i have to do everyday things(i have little kids) it sometimes just creeps up on you.My Dad had lung cancer but still went very quickly so it was still a shock.He was a great Dad to me and my 3 siblings and Ampy to 14.He died aged 57 years.I miss him all the time and think of him constantly.