personal

my grandad died

We've collected together some stories and experiences that have been sent into the website of how different people have felt after the death of their granddad:

my grandad was 55 and was going through alot of depression he's wife had cheated on him and left him very heart broken not long after she had left him he gave himself an overdose but fortunately he survived the great truama! my family was very upset and made him promise he wouldnt do such a thing again but then when he was staying round his mothers he found some rope and hung himself from the attic, this time he did not survive, my stepdad found him and got him down and called 999 but it was too late he had already passed away!after his death we all found it very hard to cope with i went to councilling because of it and that helped me a great deal i still miss him and think of him everyday but i have to get on with my life even though he'll always be thought of!

My grandad died over Easter. I was home from university for the Easter break. My grandad had already been in hospital for a few weeks with a chest infection and other complications. He had been suffering from Parkinsons disease and senial dementia for over 5 years and didn't really know what was going on.
I didn't go to visit him in hospital before he died because the last time he was in hospital I went to see him and it really upset me because he didn't know where he was or who me and my family were - i didn't want to remember him like that.
He died just before the Easter weekend and his funeral was the following week.
When I was told he had died, I didn't really react. My sister and mum were crying but i just sat watching TV.
At the funeral I felt I had to be strong for my dad and grandma so I didn't get upset. My sister had to be taken away from the graveside because she was too upset to watch the burial.
I went back to university after Easter and a few weeks later I was watching a soap drama on TV. Someone in the programme had died and it was their funeral and as I watched it the death of my grandad suddenly hit me and I cried for the first time.
I then felt guilty for not showing any emotions whilst I'd been at home. I thought my family must think I didn't care about my grandad as to them it must have looked like I wasn't bothered that he'd died. This made me feel very lonely because I'd not experienced the grief with them but now had to deal with it by myself.

My grandad lost the 2 year battle with cancer on christmas eve 1998. He was 73. I still miss him and i still get depressed and i still cry. Times a healer? Thats a lie.

I am sixteen years old and I lost my grandad over three years ago now but it feels like it was only yesterday it hurts so much inside I wish it would get better but I am scared that if it does get better maybe I will forget him forever!!!

hello,
I also lost my grandad 4 years ago. I know what you mean about not wanting to forget him, its as though in order to get on with things you would have to forget the pain and to do that you would need to forget him. I don't know but I think there is a way to hold on to the memories, to the happy times but to let the pain go. Its about being able to accept the death and the emotions that surrounded it, its about still loving your grandad but letting him go. It helped me to think about what my Grandad would want if he could still see me, and I know that he would want me to move on, to keep him in my heart, but to be able to dissolve the pain and give more attention to today and my friends and family. Sometimes if you want to move on but you are scared of forgetting him you could try to keep a foto of him in your room, or remember things that he liked to do or to say and keep these memories as special things that help you to continue to feel the love for him so that you don't have to forget him. I hope this helps. xx

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