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story 496: Craig, aged 23

My dad hung himself a week before my21st i blame meself as i wasnt there to stop him, if i could speak to him again id tell him i loved him n il never forget him, but if i had gone home i could of found n saved him there for i self harm n will do for the rest of me life, miss you day dnt blame u x


From RD4U

Hi Craig,

I want to tell you that you are not to blame yourself for your dad's death, you are not responsible. When someone we love takes the decision to end their own life it is devastating. So many people who have been bereaved through suicide blame themselves and hold themselves responsible for the death. They believe that if only they had, "Seen the signs", if only they had, "Never gone out that night", if only they could have "Stopped them from doing it". When a person ends their life they are committed to doing so and often make sure that they are able to end their life without someone finding them to stop them. You have not done anything wrong and you are not the reason for your dad's death.

Self harming is an expression of how hurt and distressed you are feeling but it will not stop those emotions, nor will it make you feel better in the long term. Craig I really think it might help if you spoke with one of our bereavement volunteers so that you can start to process your grief without feeling guilty or to blame for dad's death and for you to be kinder to yourself.

Please contact me at info@rd4u.org.uk if you would like me to help you contact your local Cruse for some support.

Warmest wishes,
Alison.


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