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story 415: Liam, aged 13

My mum died when i was only 3 years old. i dont remember her, all i have is a couple of photos of her but i still cannot remember a thing. She had a mental illness, causing her to constantly think that everyone in the world was against her and she thought that the world would have been better off without her. she couldnt have been so much more wrong. no amount of persuading could change her mind. i miss her so much and i just want to meet her again.

my dad says that it is probably better that i dont remember what she was like when she was ill because he said she was in a bad state and she was sometimes hard to cope with. My dad always tells me how much she loved me and that he loves me and will always be there for me but i get scared about what if anthing happened to my dad and he went? i dont think i would be able to cope with life. i still dont understand fully what happened and what she was like, i think im still a bit too young.

im sat here crying while writing this with a picture of my mum, my dad and me. we all look so happy and i want it to be that way again, but i know it cant. i think sometimes, although i know nobody deserves to die, "why cant it have been a bad person, a murderer etc. not a nice, kind, loving woman who cared about people so much?" its unfair.

my dad remarried and i suppose i dont really get on with my step-mum sometimes but shes ok sometimes. i suppose i am luckier (not lucky but you know what i mean) than some other kids who knew their parents well before they died because i suppose it must be harder for them.
thanks for reading and remember, youre not the only ones who this has happened to so dont feel alone.

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