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On thursday it will be 9 weeks since i lost my boyfriend after he was knocked off his bike. i find it so hard to cope, i feel there is no point in life no more and i really want to die so that i can be with him. the only thing that stops me doing suicide is my mum, i dont want to put her through what ive been through.
He was everything to me. We was always together. And with both of us only being 15 we had the whole of our lifes to look forward too. Because most of the time we was alone together im so lonely now, although i still have my friends i feel i have no one. Seeing everyone around school being happy and getting on with there lifes is so hard. People will moan on about there silly little problems and i get really agressive as i dont believe any of that matters as nothing can be worse than this. Also people go on about how happy they are with their girlfriends/boyfriends and its so upsetting because thats all i ever wanted with Sam and i couldnt have it. No one understands what im going through
I dont beleive i could ever go out with any one else as i would be betraying Sam and i dont want to anyway, but there is no point in living my life alone so i just want the pain to be over and for me to go to Sam and be happy.

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