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im 16, my dad died in september 2003, I loved my dad so much he was my best friend and tought me everything I know. He was the kindest person Iv ever known. Every thing was fine we were happy then one day he got realy sick he went to the hospital but thay didnt know wot was wrong with him so thay couldnt help him it just made him worse after a few days he discharged him self. I was so ****** off with him that i didnt talk to him for 6 weeks, then one night the police come to my house and told me it was realy bad and i should go and see him to say goodby but I didnt, and I dont know why I didnt get to see my dad one last time i never got to tell him I love him or how much I cared. Every single day I regreat that six weeks if I had known it was to be his last six weeks on earth I wouldnt of been so stupid and stubon and I would have been able to have said goodby. Now I have no emotions I make jokes and act happy but ther is nothing realy there I allways feel empty, lost and full of self hatered I cant evan cry over my dead father I need to moren and get it out but I cant and I blame myself becouse of those last six weeks, mayby I would be happy or sad or anything I would welcome anything rather than this cold feelingless body that I live in. the thing im trying to say is dont be stubon and if you get the chance to say goodby take it becouse you will regreat it for the rest of your life, just like i do.

goodby dad im so so sorry xxx

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