For My Mum
by Jane - Jun 07
When I was young I didn't know
Why sometimes you appeared so cold,
The times you laughed and sang were few,
I wish I'd known the real you.
Were you happy with your life
to be our mum, our father's wife?
I'm sure you loved us deep inside
What was it you were trying to hide?
Who were you underneath the mask?
I wish that I had thought to ask.
You always seemed to be so strong,
The rock our family stood upon
Inside you must have been so scared
So much pressure, so little care.
We all relied on you for hope
And in the end you couldn't cope
with all our problems, and your own
What was it made you so alone?
What were you drinking to forget?
It didn't help I'd like to bet
What were the demons in your head?
I wish I'd asked, I wish you'd said.
As I grew up i moved from home
Had a life and problems of my own
I resented you and thought you weak
too young to turn the other cheek
Too selfish, still, to realise
you were in turmoil deep inside.
You must have hated how you were
I didn't know, I didn't care
What made you turn to alcohol?
Something must have sparked it all.
Did something happen in your youth?
I wish that i had known the truth.
In the end our roles reversed
I cared for you, became your nurse.
When you were sick I held your hand
I tried so hard to understand.
I wiped you, bathed you, got you dressed
Cleaned you up when you had messed.
I smelled the brandy on your breath
I watched you drink yourself to death.
I worried till my mind was numb
I wish that i had known you, Mum.
What was the torment in your mind?
I wish I'd known before you died.
Love you Mum.
