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Message from: Paul, 22 Feb 06

Subject: My girlfriend Alison

Hi
I lost my lovely girlfriend on Monday 13th February. I feel so empty. Alison was only 25. I'm getting lots of support from my family & hers. But her funral (sorry spelt wrong) will be so hard on Tuesday. The hardest thing I've ever had to do.

We had been together for nearly 2 & half years.
Paul

Subject: losing your girlfriend

hi paul,sorry to read how distressed you are at recently losing the love of your life,its so hard,i know.my boyfriend died on 28\12\05 of a short illness of pancreatitus.we had been together for 3 years,we had no children together but he was like a dad to my two boys aged 10 n 18.we done loads together and deeply loved eachother.it was such a shock to me when he all of a sudden become ill.he spent 6 weeks in hospital,of which i tried to be there as much as possible,the hospital operated on him of which he came out and straight in intensive care,he got weaker and weaker and died the day it snowed.Paul i know exactly what you are going through as im in denial and pain everyday,i just cant believe my man is dead and im never gonna see him again(well untill i die that is)all i can say to you mate is be strong and take each day as it comes,and if you need some1 to talk to im here! take care

Subject:Losing my Girlfriend

Hi Tina

Thanks for your reply Tina.
It's just over a month now. Me & Alison didn't live together, but we where making plans. I've recently found out much more of what went wrong & my mind is much clearer now. That may sound strange may be, but I guess we are all different. Alison died while driving at work for her job. Her passenger survived.

Thanks for the reply again.
Paul

Subject:losing a loved one

hi paul,its tina again,thanks for replying to my message,i didnt think you would...im glad to hear that your mind is clearer now,as mine is,ive been looking things up on the internet quite alot to help me understand and clear my cloudy head abit...its nice to know that im not the only one feeling the way i do,but one thing that ive learned recently is not hurry the grieving along,its BEST to ride the sad feelings out slowly(if you know what i mean)ive got about 30 gorgeous photos of my boyfriend of which i can only look at sometimes but im so glad to have them,ive also had a photo of me and my loved one put on a necklace,i never take it off,so i feel he`s always with me....hope your feeling alright and hope to chat to you again,bye Paul and take care

Subject:My Girlfriend Alison

Hi Tina
In time I will move on & find someone new. But Alison's parents will never get another daughter. That's why I'm probably doing much better than they seem to be. Also people in the past before this have said I'm fairly strong. So I seem to deal with things better. I had a kidney transplant in 1996, it was from a young girl of only 21 & that too is kind of tragic.
We all only live once so we have to make the best of what ever time we have.
Thanks for another reply.
Paul

Subject: moving on

hi paul,its tina again,from your last message to me,you sound very possitive,which is good...i havnt managed to think possitive yet as im not getting much support lately as all my family are at loggerheads with each other...this really isnt helping me at all,i just dont know where to go for advice on my future and help with moving on,i need someone to point me in the right direction in life...it nseems to me that everyone has forgotten about my lovely boyfriend except me,i thought i was slow3ly getting over it but ive realized on my bad days that im not,it still seems like yesterday that i lost him,i miss him so much still...have you got any advice for me on how to feel better and move on? please help if you can x

Subject: Hi Tina

Hi Tina
I've posted a reply on message 990 (I hope I've typed the right number in).
I didn't see this message until I'd already replied to the other one. I'm not on any tablets & I don't feel they would help me. I take enough for my transplant anyway. Do get hooked on them. We will meet someone new one day & start over. He would not want you to be sad. We will never forget, but will learn to live on for them. Take Care Paul

Subject: (no subject)

Hi Paul and Tina, I lost my best friend 1 month ago. I loved him so much and because he died suddenly i never got to tell him how i felt about him! I've cried everyday since i lost him and i judt wondered how u got threw such a hard time?

Laura x

Subject: Losing someone special

Hi Laura
In life we will move on & we will become stronger because of it. In my case Alison wouldn't want me to sad & lonely. So it's best to look to the future but remember the past & how happy it makes me feel to have known such a brillant person. You will have many ups & downs as you come to terms with it.
It will become easier in time. In your case he probably knew you thought greatly of him, but he never wanted to mess your friendship up by telling you. If I have bad days, it tends to be if I bored & my minds starts to wander on to what should have could have been. Hopefuly we will both one day meet someone new & they will then fill our minds instead.
One other thing it helps to able to talk to someone you know about what you feel, it will stop you from bottling it up inside. Where it won't do you any good. Just keep talking.
Paul

Subject: reply to laura

hi mate,the only advice i can give you on how to cope with the hard times is to, remember and cherish the good times, another good way to help is to just have a good, Hard, long cry, ive found it helps me... Also never bottle up your feelings, find someone who really doesnt mind you going on a nd on about your friend, T A L K untill your heart is no longer hurting but untill its CONTENT.... The pain never really goes away, you just have to learn to live with it...take care x