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Message from: Lorraine, 08 Jan 05

Subject: Three years on just hit me

My mum died nearly 3 and a half years ago and i was bit upset and cried at funeral and stuff then week after she died i went bak to workin my 2 jobs again and carried on my life as though nuffin has happened and missin xmas and anniversaries and b/days by bein on holiday and stuff but at my mums birthday in november bam!!! it hit me with a thud i have been so depressed and i know there r other things making me down but i dont understand why it ook 3 years .

Subject: only just hit me

lorraine, i know how you are feeling. 4 of the most important people in my life have died since i was 12 (grandma, grandad, dad and my nan in november last year)and now its just suddenly hit me. i never really grieved properly for my dad, as i just seemed to get on with life. but now, i cant believe i feel like this. its the worst feeling in the world. i cant think of anything else. i dont even want to get up in the morning anymore. i go back to uni on sunday and im dreading leavin my family because i feel so alone, even though i have friends at uni. on top of it all, ive got exams the week after next and its just getting too much to cope with.

Subject:time

After my brother died it took 3 years to hit me aswell.. it was only after I went abroad for the summer that when I was away I thought about him a lot as if he was still alive.. and by the time I came home I knew he wasnt, hes gone. I think its your minds way of protecting you, so you slowly absorb the shock instead of geting the full impact.. its hard though, because you will have to grieve now and people might think you should have already. Pay no attention, take the time you need to grieve, its very important, and let people know that you are grieving. I think its quite normal for these things to take years to truly sink in.. be strong!

Subject: sorry havent replied

Sorry havent replied to you guys sorry to hear about your loses i have struggled lately through really bad times in last 3 years lost some of the most important people in my life and been suicidal lately but now i realise i am bein kinda selfish and dont want my dad and pregnant sister to go through anymore i have to sort myself out and get on with life thanks for ur kind messages x x x x x x x x x x keep smiling