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Message from: sarah, 19 Dec 05

Subject: if only dad

hi im sarah, my dad commited suicide on the 11th of november, he was really depressed, i know that, but i cant help blaming other people for what happend before, like it was their fault he did what he did.
i miss him soo much as he was the closest person im ny family to be he didnt try and change me like veryone else was trying to we'd talk for ages about life and what he used to do when he was my age and everything, i think my brother wants to now be like a dad to me, which i dont want but i know i have to let him because maybe thats the way he deals with things and he feels he has to,
people keep telling me i have to keep hold of my mum and brother but i just dont want to its like im pushing them away.. do you think its because im scared of losing the people i care about now? i duno i have never got on with my mum but there we go dad always thought it was a clash of personalities he was probably right
well i dont think these things are ment ot be this long so i will go now
sarah
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Subject:Hi Sarah

Hi sarah , my dad died nearly 4 years ago, Believe me it does get better but i still think about him and something someone says can still hurt a lot and i do cry sometimes but youve just got to try and stay strong, stay close to your mum and ur brother as you never know how long youve got with them. Dont push them away. Christmas wil be hard but youve just got to keep thinking about all the good times you had, and your dad wanted to you be happy and hes watching you all the time. Try not to blame other people , i know your hurting but dont take your anger out on other people, get a hobbie and it will take your mind off everything. i hope ive helped. love jenny x x x x <3