message board

Message from: kate, 19 Oct 05

Subject: my dad

my dad died on 25th april 2005,internal bleed due to the wafferin he was on and high blood pressur,he also had a heart attack!he obviously had heart surgery 3 years ago,but he seemed okay,and one day he collapsed and that was it,but it is now 6 months later and im now on antideppressants,i cant accept the fact that i wont see him again,he was only 48,im 24,my marriage is also suffering as my husband aint happy with me as im always deppresed,we are seriously thinking of spliiting up.i didnt get to say goodbye to my dad and miss him more than i can ever imagine.

Subject:your message

im sorry of your loss,i lost my dad 6 months ago,i miss him more than ever,but do you talk to your mum about your dad,have you thought about seeing your doctor,for someone to talk to,he my be able to offer you something,that what ive done,im on antideppresants,its not the answer but it is helping me get through each day,grief is hard and there is no right or wrong way,i really feel you should see your doctor,
chinup,kate

Subject:(no subject)

I'm also very sorry to hear of your loss, my dad died in June, just as my A-level examinations were starting. He committed suicide, and it was my mum and I who found him. I had no idea that he was depressed, as only my mum knew but didn't think it was so bad. That was around 4 months ago, and the pain hasn't gone. I didnt get to say goodbye either, and I'm not at university and I feel even worse being away from my mum and brother. I do reccomment you see a doctor, or even call an advice line, not for advice but to talk everything through. I've found talking to an outsider helps so much as my mum doesn't like to talk about it. My mum goes to a local meeting each month with other people who have been bereaved specifically by suicide - some who have lost people over 10 years ago. Maybe you should see if a local group exists that you could go along to ? They have social outings and everything.
I know the pain doesn't seem like it will go away - trust me, I know how you feel. But remember to make your dad proud - and more importantly keep smiling as you dont realise how many people are out there and are willing to listen, or help if they can xx

Subject: (no subject)

My dad died in 2000...suicide. Some people dont seem to understand. A family member turned around and said I should be 'over it.' that hurt alot. The only person that I feel understands is my boyfriend. Been together 18 months. Wish so hard he could have met my dad. He was a lovely man. Was only 33 when he died. Im still only 19 but im learning to cope...still taken me nearly 6 years to get to this stage. If you wanna chat:

(Sorry Nikita, because of safety & confidentiality we don't print peoples personal e-mail addresses on the website. Hope you can understand this and you can of course keep in touch by posting through the message board. All the best RD4U)

keep smiling...it does get easier, promise.

Subject:dad

I really feel for you. I lost my father Feb 2004 and it was such a hard time for me. I felt so alone and was hurting incredibly. I still hurt now but the intensity of the pain has subsided. I know it sounds like such a cliche but 'time is a healer.' Me and my boyfriend of 3 years broke up at the time because i was unbearable to live with and he couldnt handle it. Try to focus on your marriage a little bit more and u will soon find that time will pass and your relationship will be stronger than ever. Good luck. xxxx

Subject:My Dad

2yrs ago today my dad committed suicide. The grief hasn't got any easier. I don't get upset about it as much but i think that because i try not to think about it.
We used to argue quite a bit..and never saw eye to eye but thats because we wer so similar.
Ive never spoken about it to my mum or brother. The only person who i let myself get upset in front of is my amazing boyfriend. We started going out about 3weeks before it happend, i wish so much that they could have met.
We have no idea why he killed himself...he had ms which was progressivly gettin worse...i tell myself that that was the reason..but we'l never really no.
Like him im so stubborn and cannot help but feel resentment that he could do such a thing. I don't think it will ever get easier, there are so many unawswerd questions.

Subject: thanking everyone

hi this is kate here,thank you everyone for replying to my message bout dad passing away,i sorry to hear of all your losses aswell.my doctor has referres me to see a councillor as speaking to someone may help,it is also my daughter birthday soon and she is 4 and that is gonna be hard coz my dad was so close to her,he was even there when she was born,i seem to be okay at the moment but when i start thinking about my dad and i start to get down and depressed then i just dont care bout life,which my dad wouldnt have wanted,so all of you take care,and keep safe,kate.xxx

Subject: Me too

My dad's gravestone was put in place this week, I'm going to plant flowers there tomorrow. I've only just found this website because I feel I need to find people who been through the same thing. I was my dad's only family, my parents seperated when I was 5 and from the age of 11 I cared for my dad, I'm 17 next month. My mum stopped talking to him after the split. I feel really isolated. I really miss him

Subject: parents

Hi Kate, thanks for the kind message you sent, i am attending the doctor and also have a Councillior that comes to my house - i am struggling, not interested in anything especially xmas - my mum as i mentioned has Alzheimers and she will get worse as time goes on - i have everythng to look forward to next year getting married - but the saddest thing my Dad wont be there and its going to cut me up real bad - i dont want to go down any further than i am but i see no light at the end of the tunnel - feel very alone :o( keep in touch

Subject: (no subject)

Hi Im 20 my mum committed suicide 7 and a half months ago. I am in my final year at university which is generally a stressful time. I am feeling it quite vunerable at the moment some days all I do is cry but then other days I think it just hasnt happened, I am feeling so stressed at the moment and I dont think I can really understand why she did it and I think that is where I struggle the most.
Nikki