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Message from: chloe, 03 Oct 05

Subject: my baby and mum have died!

im chloe, im 16, ive recently lost my baby, as ive posted on here at the time. some may know that i blamed my mum for my babys death and had fallen out with her, well now she has commited suicide. im the one to lbame on this and i just feel so horrible and selfish and i dont deserve to be here! i want to die !

Subject: change

its ok to feel upset maybe you could pray to her and say that your sorry. make a new begining for your life and try to stay focosed on the positive things of life.

Subject: thanks

thanks for replying, i have no possitives in my ife to focus on at the moment, my daughter was the onlypositive thing in my life and now shes gone and my mums now gone as well. I need to be with them. Thanks for what you wrtoe. xxx

Subject:chloe

I'm sorry you still feel low, I am here for you.

Subject: you

Hi Chloe,
I have just read the message you posted and feel deeply sorry for you. I hope you are feeling better about your life. It must be the worst thing in the world to lose a baby. My son was in intensive care for 3 weeks when he was born, he wasn't supposed to make it but we had him christened at birth and he pulled through. It was such a bad time. He's 2 now but it still affects me.
You are not to blame for your mother's death. There must have been issues in her life that lead her to do what she did, probably deeper than you know. I lost touch with my mum 5 years ago, by choice, and will probably never see her again. she is a drunk at death's door.
Take care and if you want to talk, I am here,
Kairen.

Subject:kairen

Thank you so much for your reply, im glad your little boy pulled through, lifes not getting any better but im stillsurving so thats one good thing, i am to blame for my mums death becuase if i hadnt have fallen out with her in the first place becuase she was the one who fell with Ellie then she wouls still be here and so would my little grl. i sad horrible things to my mum and now i wish i hadnt becuase i miss her so much and my little girl :'(

Subject:chloe

Hello again Chloe,
Please don't think I have forgotten you, I lost my details from the web site and have only just retrieved them.
In no way is anyone to blame for someone elses suicide. You did not directly do that to your mother, it was her choice. I'm sure your mother loved you and Ellie very much and wouldn't want harm to come to either of you.
You are so young and have so much to gain from life.
Please don't let the past destroy your future. There are many bereavement /counselling services where people will be reaching out to help you.
I really feel for you and it would really make me happy if you found happiness through education, counselling, church or otherwise.
Keep me posted.
Sorry for the late response,
Kairenxx

Subject:my baby and my mum died

Chloe darling it can happen 2 any one my boyfriends mam died when he was about 7 and my sisters baby nearly died he was born at 27+3 weeks he's now 2 years old the same age as kairens little one

Subject:thank you

thank you, things are getting easier now, the same ' time is a healer' well it is. there doens't go a day where i dont cry but im coping.

Thanks for your replies, i do appreciate it

Thank you

Chloe xxxx