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Message from: Lucy, 30 Aug 05

Subject: (no subject)

My Mum commited suicode 5 weeks ago, and it still hasn't sunk in that I'll never see her again. No words can describe how much I miss her, I don't know how I'll cope without her, I have lots of people around me who care about me but I just feel like I don't want to see anyone. None of my friends seem to care which makes it even harder. I just want her back.

Subject: hi lucy

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. My mum is also dead and it is so hard. I thought about killing myself earlier this year when i was very depressed and i understand more why people do it. It wasn't that i wanted to leave my family behind, i didnt want to, it was just that i was ill with depression and the only way out of it was to die.
Please Lucy if you ever feel like this tell someone, you may not of course, but if you do please do get some help. I am really lucky like you to be surrounded by some people who care.
Loosing my mum was the hardest pain in the world to bear and i'm not sure that I'll get over it ever, but as time goes by i found that there were no more tears left to cry.
Lots of love to you lucy x x x x x

Subject:Losing my mum

Hi Lucy,

I am really sorry to hear about your mum, i know exactly how you are feeling as my mum committed suicide in February of this year as well.

I don't really know what to say to make you feel any better, time, talking and remembering the good times will help - i also do a lot of crying. I know what you mean about friends, mine are the same it does make it hard but i think they just don't really know what to say rather than not caring.

I think the worst thing is not knowing why my mum did it - i know she was ill and i suppose she thought it was for the best, i miss her so much and really wish that i could see her again, i feel like a part of me is missing now and it hurts - oh my god it hurts so much.

On the positive side i have started to realise that i will never be able to see my mum and although it makes me sad i know i need to carry on with my life and live it to the full, like she would want me to. I am starting counselling shortly to help me get back on track, this might be something you could consider when you feel like it.

Anyways, stay positive i know it is hard initially but things will get easier (remember i have been through this too)with time. If you need to chat send me a message back.

Take care xx

Subject: HIYA LUCY

HIYA LUCY

I AM SO SO SORRY TO HERE ABOUT YOUR MAM, IT MUST OF BEEN HARD FOR YOU. I LOST MY MAM ON THE 14TH MARCH 2000 SO I KIND OF KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I KNOW FOR ME EVERYDAY IS GETTING A LITTLE BIT EASIER AND I AM NOW LEARINIG TO COPE WITH MY LOSE.
LUCY I KNOW YOU MIGHT NOT FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT ME BUT A FIND IT EASIER TO TALK TO SOME ONE A DON KNOW LIKE A COUNCILLOR. I HAVE BEEN SEEING MINE FOR 4 1/2 YRS EVEN WHEN I MOVED HE STILL KEEP ON SEEING ME AND IT HAS REALLY HELPTED. I KNOW YOU WILL BE OK
IT MIGHT NOT SEEM LIKE IT BUT EVERY DAY WILL GT EASIER AND EASIER.

I GOT TO GO
KEEP YOUR CHIN UP PET
YOU WILL GET THROUGHT THIS HUNNY
THINKNIG ABOUT YOU
LOVE CARLY XX
AGED 17