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Message from: Lynz, 15 July 05

Subject: The Best Mate EVER!!

On My 27th, my best mate, Roise, died. She had CF. everyday i think of her an everyday it makes me sad. all my mates n family have been amazin since she died, BUT no-one's her. we did everything together an i still feel so lost without her, even after so much time!!

Subject: best mates death

hello lynz i no how it feels to lose a best mate i lost mine he has been dead for 2 years on the 23rd july it hurts i cant get over his death i have 1 friend that is helping me so much i tryed killing my self 4 times and she was the only 1 their 4 me with out her i would be dead i lost sam to cancer he was only 20 years old im only 21 the thing that hurts the most is that i didnt get chance to say goodbye cus his familey didnt want me seeing him the way he was i still talk to his familey so i do no how u feel its like sum1 has ripped your heart out i hope everything gets betta u need to talk just rite back im here 4 any1 none of my mates no how it feels to lose their bestmate part from 1 of my mates im helping her through it and she is helping me would like to help u aswell rite back love marla

Subject: Best mates we've lost

Hi Lynz my names Kirstie, I too have lost my best friend she was 16 at the time, a year younger than me, 4 years ago 24th april!
She too had CF!!
I know she had it hard but she never let it stop her from doing anthing she wanted to do!!
I know she had a happy life even tho the cf was hard on her, she lived it so fully!
I only meet her when we both started college, but as soon as i meet her it felt like I'd known her all my life, she was amazing, no matter what she could make my smile an laught! we could talk about evering thing, i could tell her anything, she knew my life story within knowing her only a week, and i knew most of hers! She never let CF get her down, she was always so full of life!! An she loved dolphins, an i remember her phone tune was stan by emmem, that used to make us laught!!
I so empathize with you!!
I've lost people i'm so close to, so really close to and i know its hard i couldn't pretend it isn't!
An the pain its not just emotional its Physical too, it hurts so much! But it does start to get easier i can tell ya that, i know it'll sound strange and you'll thing how on earth can this get any easier but it does, i'm not saying it totally goes coz it doesn't but it does slowly start to get easier! I know i when people said to me it gets easier, i didn't believe them, i thought how the heck to they know! but strangely it does!
I'm not saying its easy coz it isn't an there are still times now i sit and tears just roll down my face like a roaring river adn i think there never gonna stop! But theres also times i smile and laugh about the happy time we had with Heather (that my best friends name).
I like to think shes looking down up on her friends & family and smiling and helping us! And being proud of us know matter what!
An i bet Rosie is doing the same, looking down up on you and wishing you all the luck in the world, helping you along,and most of all being proud of you know matter what!
If you ever want to leave me a message please do i'm always here an i'll try an get back to you as soon as poss! You can ask me anything you want to know!
You Take Care Now
Kirstie

Subject: (no subject)

i am so sorry 2 hear that but i will be lost with out my best mate and u must be so sad that u want 2 cry and i personly think u r copying really well

Subject:Hi Linz

Hi Lynz
I gather the last message was from you! I totally know what ya mean i do feel lost with out my best friend! But i am lucky that i have close friends i can talk to and one of my friends vicky was also best friends wiv heather and she knows how i'm feeling maybe not totally but most of the time!!
Sometime people say to me "To say you've lost ya best friend you cope really well" To tell the truth i don't really! I just try to get on with things as life goes by!!
And at times i find it so hard and so painful i don't know were to go or what to do!!
I stay in contact with her parents an brother and when ever i read a letter from them most of time i can't get past the 1st line, with out cry so hard it hurts!
I really Really Really do feel for you Lynz, i can imagen the pain you must be going through!! Its so hard, and its even harder to imagen a world/life without your bst friend, thats the worst part! Wanting to call them an have a chat or ask am what to do about something!! It took me a whole year to take her moblie number out on my phone an even when i did it was because i got a new phone and when i was putting the numbers in it i got to heathers an i even put it in an it wasn't until a friend of mine who was with me at the time said to me "You have to do it you have to take it out, I know its hard but you have to do it!"
An i did and it was hard and it did hurt!! That was one bad part an theres been many since! It would have been Heathers 21st birthday today and it was my 1st day at a new job too an i so didn't want to go didn't want to do it this morning but by the end of the day i was glad i did and it went well and i believe that it was Heather who saw me through today!! she was looking down on me an keepin me safe!!
I know you probile don't want to hear all this but i do hope it helps!! And i just wanted to say it OK to cry no matter how long passess! I cry an it took me along time to and a long time to realize that it was OK!!
You take Care Lynz!
An please if you want to ask me anything, anything at all how ever small please please do!
Like how did you feel this 1st time someone said her name or when you had to explain to someone that ya best friend had died!! anything big or small just ask i'm here an i'll get back to you as soon as poss!!
You take care
Kirstie