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Message from: Kay, 07 June 05

Subject: My Dad

Hi everyone,

I am 18 and lost my dad suddenly on the 13th April.

He was extremely healthy and had only been ill twice in the past 12 years.

He died at work of a massive heart attack, and no-one knows why it happened, just that it did.

I still find it hard to understand, and I dont think it has really sunk in for me.

I try not to spend time at home and I dont talk to anyone about it, as i worry abour gettin them down.

I hope this is somewhere I can talk to people who know how i feel, and are going through similar things.

Subject: I lost my dad too

My Dad died on the 30th October 2004- also of a massive heart-attack that was very sudden. Thanks Kay for showing me that there are people in my position. It's really tough to lose a parent- but for anyone who just has, it's been 8 months now for me and things have got better. I didn't believe it would, but it does. Hope you're feeling ok :)

Subject: Hi Kay

Thought i woudl send you a quick response to say your not alone.

My dad died 18 months ago when i was 19, he also had pretty good health and died at home of a massive heart attack, he was only 48.

Its stil very early days for you, i still feel at times for me its early days but then i realise that soon enough it will be the 2 year anniversary

I didnt deal with my dads death well, shut my self away, stopped eating, took to drinking too much and even at one stage got so low i started to cut myself, thankfully im through that now, im not goin to kid you it is still hard and i miss my dad like crazy but it has got better. I do still have down days but thats expected, but im surviving and you will too.

I still feel lost and angry, plus cheated, my dad will miss out on so much but im lucky i still have my mum and siblings so im not totally alone.

Id advise you to talk to someone, doesnt matter who just anyone, i found i couldnt talk to members of my family, was too hard and it didnt want to make it worse for them, but one of my friends was there for me, let me scream and shout when i wanted or just hugged me when i cried, it helps, bottling it up does no good.

Remember you are not alone, your dad will always be around, he'll always be a part of you.

Take care
x x x