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Message from: Laura, 28 May 05

Subject: Nanny

Well what can I say? My mum and dad got divorced in 94 and ever since then me and my nan became closer, she was the lady figure in my life I needed, she was the person who taught me new things and the person I looked up to. In 2000 she died. 18th Dec, my dad came home and told me she had died from a heart attack, I hit his arm and said your lieing! That day changed everything! That Christmas was unbearable, every year ever since I was little, we celebrated christmas at her house and that year when we went over there it was empty. No more nanny. Everyone cried, noone was joyful. I went into the bathroom to get away and broke down, the bathroom once painted by her, she was so happy when she was finished bt now no more smiles. Ive never loved anyone as much as Ive loved her, Ive never been me since I lost her. She promised me she'd be there for my 13th and she wasnt, so when I turned 16 last year I couldnt cope. I tried holding everything back, cried every night and went through a stage of wanting to kill myself. I didnt though, I still get emotional talking about her and no one person has ever made such a big impact that she did but where ever she is I'll always love her! The little things I always took for granted are the big things I'll miss!