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Message from: Lizzie, 16 May 05

Subject: My mum

Hi i have never been on here before but i saw an advert about it and i felt it was something i needed to do. My mum died 4 years ago wen i was 12. i felt it was the time i needed her most. the night before she died in hospital i didnt even see her because i chose to stay at home and watch eastenders which i regret everyday of my life. My dad doesn't ever talk to me especially not about mum and he has found a new girlfriend who feels threatened by us and doesn't like to see us. My big brother doesn't talk about it eitha and rebels against everything sumtimes beatin me up. Altho worst of all my little 9 year old brother who was only 5 calls me mum and is always crying about her. I just dont know how to cope anymore and my ex boyfriend is scared of me because im so emotional. People are always saying how sorry they feel for me but it doesn't help it just makes the feeling worse than ever. I thought talking to people who understand wat i am going through may help as if i try to talk to my friends they just feel uncomfortable with it. Thank you.

Subject:Hey!

hiya my name is Sára and i have only recently lost my mum on the 15 of april and i am really worried to! tell someone call the rd4u helpline for some extra advice, it is free and u speak direct to u i called and i got some extra advice thaT WAS REALLY GOOD! look out 4 my messages and i will look out 4 urs! love Sára!

oh and by the way the helpline number is: 0808 808 1677 love Sátra bibixxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Subject:hi

Hey,
I lost my mum 7 years ago to cancer,22 days after my 10th birthday.
I know what your going through because the day before my mum died, i chose not to visit her in hospital claiming i had homework to do - the real reason was that i didn't want to see her lying in her hospital bed unresponsive. Looking back i know that she wasn't there inside her body. I regret not going that day to the hospital too, but i've learnt that you can't linger on the what ifs because it only deepens the sadness you have inside.
My dad will talk about her and answer my questions but you can see the depression slowly creeping into his eyes.
In the past few years, he's started dating too which i found extremly hard especially with his first girlfriend, who knew my mum & who has kids of her own. She treated me like the babysitter.
I have to say that it does get a little easier though, his 4th girlfriend and i got on really well but they have since broken up.
I'm rly glad i found this site because its almost refreshing to talk to people who have actually been through what i have.
My friends tend to try to avoid the subject. It's nice to know that i'm not the only one!
Keep in touch
Em