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Message from: Abbie, 22 Apr 05

Subject: Y Shoud i keep living i have no family left

I wote 2 u in About nov time telling u about the dead of my Family. when they were killed i moved in with my gran but she has just past away. As i am 12 i have no were to live now so i have 2 go in 2 a childrens home and i so do not want 2 i just feel like killing myself because i so do not want 2 move in 2 a childrens home PLEASE HELP. here what i wote in nov....On christmas morring in 1998 me my 3 older sisters (2 twins aged 7 and my sister aged 8) with my brothers ( aged 10 and 11) when down 2 c wha santa got us. But when i saw the doll i got was not the 1 i wanted i was so cross and would not talk 2 any 1. At about 2:00pm we all went 2 My cousins. when it was time 2 go i did not want 2 go so i wanted to stay so my mum, dad , my sisters and my brothers got in 2 the car. about 3 hour later 2 men came 2 the door and told my ant that they has been a very bad car crase about 10 mins away from Sally's Toyshop so she went away with them. about a half a hour later she came back with a the doll i wanted and told me my mum,1 of the twin sisters my other sister and my 2 brothers had been kill and my dad and my other twin sister were really ill but b4 my mum past away she told her 2 gave me the doll. she went back 2 my dad and my sister as i stay at her as she did not want me 2 c them as they were very ill an as i was only 4 years old. then about 4 hours later she came back 2 say my other sis had dead. then the next day we got word 2 say my dad dead 2. so please help me love from abbie.

Subject: Message 4 u

Hi Abbie, thankyou for your message and I'm so sorry to hear you grandmother has died. I can't imagine what it must feel like to have no family and have to go and live in a childrens home. It's a really hard stuff to deal with. Have you got anyone you can talk to ? Sometimes by talking about feelings it can make you feel a bit better. There's a really good website where you can chat to a 'counsellor' it's at www.there4me.com and you can also call Childline on 0800 11 11 who are open 24 hours a day. When things feel really bad it can seem like there's no other way out except to die. People do say that it helps to talk and to just take a day at a time. I hope this has helped and if you want to you know you can always e-mail us using the private e-mail service. You take good care, all the best. Rd4U

Subject:i'm so sorry

Abbie I am so sorry. You have been so very amazing growing up without your five siblings and mum and dad for 7 yrs. I am so sorry to hear that your Grandma died - I know she must have been very special to you. You mentioned your aunt in your email - could you live with her?
I am so sorry to hear that Abbie and you must be such a amazingly brave person. If you do have to go and live in a home then we will be here for you on this forum and also i'm sure your friends and teachers at school will want to help all they can. Take care Abbie lots of love and a hug lucyxxxxxxx
p.s. if you want to chat than i'm here for you

Subject:(no subject)

i know how it feels abby
i lost my mam nearly 3 years ago
she died 8/10/2002
i also lost my aunty who was a best friend 2 me a week b4 my mam died
sorry 2 hear about your family
luv toni xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Subject:you abbie

hello abbie,
theres nothing i can say,im so sorry,when i read your e,mail i almost cried,you are so brave to have got through life so far and you are still so young,your family may be gone but they are still watching you,i truely believe that their spirit lives on,you take care and we are always here for you is you ever wanna chat,and good luck and keep safe,kate,xxxx

Subject:(no subject)

abie u r so strong. When my auntie died my life went down but to think what you have been through. You seem to be one of the strongest people i have eva mer.My friend lives in a childrens home and she says its really good but she's been in some that are awful. I think dat you should keep on living and remember that ur family will always be with you no matter what. You can still remember them and love them even if they're not there xxx

Subject:Dont lose touch with the world

When my brother died I felt like I wanted to end my life too. Although I have my mum and dad to think of I looked for reasons to stay; My brother was the last boy in our family and was so proud that he was going to carry on the family name, so I have live on and keep my maiden name and do that for him. I also have to look after his things and possibly go on and have children who will inherit his things. I have to live on for my brother. Look for reasons to stay. DNA is passed on and if you go on to have children there will always be part of your family within them. Stay strong. There are so many people here for you if you want to chat.

Subject: please...

dont, u have got the world to live for. i feel like that too sumtimes but hold your head up hi and show the world u r strong goodluck

Subject: stay strong

in all life we go through hardships, i know i cant imagine ut pain at all, but be strong. u got a long and fruitful life ahead of u.

Subject:(no subject)

im so sorry abbie. uve been through alot. but, ur family wouldnt want u 2 be unhappy. they would want u 2 stay strong and live a good life. so live a good life 4 u and for ur family as that is wot they would hav wanted 4 u. lily xxxx

Subject:It's hard and I'm sorry about ur loss, fight on.

Abbie,
I am so sorry to hear of ur loss I can't begin to know exactly how u are feeling as we are all different. I lost my Mum 2 years ago and I still find it hard and I have been like u not wanting to live anymore, but I have been trying hard to fight it, not easy, but u have to think to yourself that U are worth something and there is a point to living somewhere. It may be tough going to live in a home but there could and probably will be some positive things about it, hopefully u will find new friends and new talents you have after all we are all unique and have our own talent somewhere, which I am sure you have, even though you may not see it right now. All I can say is that by talking and giving yourself a goal to work towards may help, by focusing on something you really want in your life- that's positive and good, and that will make U feel happy. Do things that U enjoy and make U feel better about yourself, and for each day that you get through reward yourself for doing so.
Please try to talk to someone, and to take care of yourself, I am sure that there are friends and other people that care about you and will be proud of you for getting through such a tough time.
Best wishes, my thoughts are with you.
Jane xx