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Message from: Gail, 16 Mar 05

Subject: it hurts so much someone please help me

Dear Gail, thankyou for your message for the board & we're sorry to hear about the recent death of your nan. Unfortunately your message was too long for us to post all of it here so we have had to edit it. If you like we can post all of it as a timeline experience just let us know.
Take care & all the best through this difficult time. RD4U Team

on the 17th of december my nan died. it was a friday. the last day of term before christmas. on the thursday i went to see her, she was in intensive care and i cried when i saw her. i knew what she would look like but it was horrible. we went to the hospital and i saw my nan again. we had to wait for my uncle to get there before stopping the medication. we stayed 6 hours. i said goodbye to my nan. she was unconcious. i couldnt kiss her or talk out loud i whispered. we left my dad auntie and uncle they stoppd medication just after we left. i went to bed and to sleep. my mum came in at ten and said nan had gone, i was too sleepy for it to register. throughout the funeral i had my five year old cousin on my lap he wasnt upset so i couldnt be. we didnt think ther would be many people at the funeral but ther was loads. i was happy for my nan. christmas was hell. nan was supposed to be coming over on boxing day and i already had most of her present. it hurt buyin other presnts coz i new what else i was going to get her. my brother is 18 today. he got no present off her and normally she gives me £5 and a creme egg. i miss that. il be 16 this year and i cant share it with her. im about to start taking my gcses. she was always so proud of everything i did but i wont be able to tell her my results. she wont see me go on to sixth form, university and become a vet. i want to die. i want her back. someone please help me

Subject:Hi

I know nothing people say can make you feel any better but please dont think you are alone, my grandad died when i was 14 and i felt like my world had ended however with time it got better, its now been 7 years, at times it feels like it was all yesterday but at others i can think about him without feeling sad, thinking of the happy times. I also lost my dad nearly 2 years ago, made me miss my grandad even more but at least they are together. Life sucks at times but not always, i wont lie to you it is hard and hurts for a long time but you will get there as someone said to me when my dad died the pain doesnt go, you just learn to live with it and its true however be realistic your going to have some really bad days compared to others but talk to people around you Take care x x x

Subject:Reply

thankyou so much for what you wrote. im sorry about your dad and grandad. my grandad died about 10 years ago and i think they're together now. hope your ok thanks gail x