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Message from: Gemma, 02 Feb 05

Subject: Guilty about my dad

I feel real guilty about how I treated my dad and that I never told him I loved him. Now I can't tell him and feel I was partly responsible for the stress that caused his heart attack. I don't know if anyone can help, I just need to tell someone.

Subject:dont feel guilty

my dad died from heart failure in decmber 04, he was also an alcoholic and i have spent the last 6 years of my life being angry at him for wasting his life .
I have said some hurtful things over the years and wish so much that I could just say but I love you as well now.
I try not to regret saying the things I did as i meant them at the time and you cant live your life thinking what may or maynot happen in the future.
I know he loved me and was proud of me and i guess thats what parents want.
I wish I could tell him how much I loved him and I wish I knew whether he knew it anyway.
I think the way to move forward is to love the people close to you now as much as you can and live your life in a way he would be proud of in his memory.
I think if there is a heaven our dads are probably looking at us wishing we didnt feel so guilty.

Subject:TWINLIVES

MY STORY IS THE IMAGE OF YOURS.MIRROR IMAGE.ITS UNCANNY.MY DAD DIED WITH A BAD HEART TOO.FOR AGES B4 HAND,I WAS THE HORRIBLEST KID IN THE WORLD.I STOLE,LIED,DRANK,DID DRUGS.WORRIED THE HELL OUTTA MY PARENTS.I DIDNT CARE.I SWORE,MOUTHED OFF TO HIM,WORDS I CANT TAKE BACK.TOLD HIM I HATED HIM,I DID NOT LOVE HIM,I WAS A RIGHT BIXXH.FOR AGES I BLAMED MYSELF.I KNOW NOW IT WERNT.I DIDNOT STAB HIM,POISON HIM,OR NETHING.IT HAPPEND CAUSE, THATS THE WAY IT WAS.IT WAS HIS TIME,HIS HEART BROKE AND COULDNT BE FIXED,SIMPLE AS THAT.THATS HOW U MUST THINK OR IT WILL EAT U UP.I LEARNT MY LESSON THOUGH,IM GOOD NOW,I AINT A BIXXH NO MORE,IM GOING TO COLLEGE.MY DAD WUD BE PROUD.IT WAS THE HARDEST LESSON IVE EVER LEARNT.DONT BLAME YOURSELF BABE,IT WAS JUST 1 OF THOSE THINGS.