message board

Message from: Zoe, 29 Jan 05

Subject: my friend's mum died

My friend's mum died from cancer today. I haven't lost anyone close to me yet so I really don't know what to say to her when she comes back to school. Any advice?

Subject: just be a friend

Hi Zoe, firstly I think you've been a great friend already by seeking advice. My dad died a month ago and my best friend has been brilliant. There is no right thing to say that will make everything ok, so dont think just cos you dont know what to say you'll say the wrong thing. The best thing to do is say you'll support her ask if shes ok, tell her she can talk to you any time about it, bereaved people often feel they cant tell people cos they're a pain.
If she cries its not cos you upset her, just comfort her the best you can.
Above all be the friend you've always been, my best friend still tells me the same gossip we laugh about the same stuff and i know shes there if I need her.
Good luck and am sure you'll be a good friend.

Subject:(no subject)

Hi Zoe - don't know whether you will come back to this site, just thought I'd post a reply to see if your friend is doing OK - I'm sure she is so grateful of your support, I know it must be difficult for you too as your friend will not be being her normal self, but stick with her, your friendship will be made so strong by this, & she'll really appreciate everything you do for her. Let us all know how you're both getting on. Take Care, Han xxx

Subject: (no subject)

I think that you shuld show your friend you are there for them and listen to them when they need someone or a shoulder to cry on. Also keep an eye on them, i am not sayin there are stupid but when things like this happen people do the most silly things. I know i did and i really regret.