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Message from: monique, 19 Jan 05

Subject: losing my sister

i just lost my sister on Jan1,2005 how i approach New Year Day will never be the same .There was a 8 year diffrece between me and my sister .i just hurt so much cause i miss here ,we where very close i would go visit her every other weekend she would take me out to the clubs and dance the night away.She made me feel whole she made me feel vibrant and alive ...i miss her!And i know in my heart she wouldnt want me to hurt like this and i know she would want me too be happy and enjoy life but it seems like she has been gone forever and it has just been two week .i will always wonder about when she passeddid dhe hurt did dhe know what was happening but now that shes gone it jsut seems those questions dont matter. i want to try and celebrate my sisters life. i want my mother not to husrt or my dad or my youngest sister i need to know what i can do to help myself and them get over the traumatic lose of my sister?

Subject:i no the pain

i feel u. i lost my sister on 10/21/01. i was driving drunk and my actions killed her. that is a day that i need to celebrate. she is with GOD now. she doesnt want me 2 hurt. she 4-gives me. now i need 2 4-give myself. my sis raided me. both parents both drug addicts. i was raised on the streets . she was my mom dad sis bro everything. i hurt every day , but i must proced . 4 her as long as i remember her she is always alive. our parents we have no control over they must go through their own process. but us we must live on. they dont want us 2 fall we must proceed. 4 us n 4 them. they r with us at all times. i should b dead by now. somone got my back. my story is here also 306 or 304 under raymond and timline. smile please! i will always b here 2 talk . my luv goes out 2 u.