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Message from: Kate, 29 Dec 04

Subject: I hate me!!!

Why does it always seem to happen to me? I lost my granddad stan to lung cancer. He died on 20th Dec. I hate it. Nanna is going to be crying on Christmas day and I hate seeing her like that. To tell you the truth my grandma is not the easiest person to live with so how am I ment to cope. In someways I think it is my fault that my Granddad died. But I donot know why I feel so guilty.

Subject:(no subject)

may i ask, why do you think its your fault? most of the time when somebody dies, you feel guilty alot of the time, but this is not because it is you fault. I went for years feeling guilty about my moms death, as she was on her way to see me in my sports day when she died, and that was tearing me apart. Your granddad wouldnt want you to feel pain or guilt, this year i lost alot of people very close to me and some days i still feel guilty. This christmas day, i visited 8 graves, of people i was very close to, and i was with family and friends and friends family, and we practically sobbed the entire christmas away, you just have to let people show their grief in their different ways, and let people come to terms with what has happened. and give yourself a chance too. if you want to talk about anything then just send a message back. hope you are okay. chin up izzy

Subject:Hi Kate

I am so sorry to hear about your Grandad it must be a really hard time for you.I don't think that your grandad dying is your fault there's nay it can be.I think that the fact that your grandad has passedaway so recently may be why you seem so confused but if you give it time things may get better but you do have to give it time. I hope this helps and please do reply if you feel the need. Take care.

Subject: Thank u

Thank u so very musch for some positive comments. Thinking about it I feel guilty because I never really told my granddad how much I loved him. I sounds sad doednt it. I truly do miss him and it is hard as it was my birthday on 31.1.05 and he wasn't there. THANKS

Subject: (no subject)

Don't feel guilty it wasn't your fault. things happen my gran died of cancer i never knew her but my dad always blames his self i tell him not to but he nevers listens even though she died a long time ago he won't let go but please don't blame yourself it was never your faultXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Subject: hope

i feel for you kate is must be hard for you, but look to the future and i promise things will get better soon think positives thoughts im sure you will have a merry christmas xxxxxxx
all you need is hopexxx