message board

Message from: Kirstie Scaife - 5 Sep 01

Subject: This website has helped!

I didn't know about this website untill i read a mag called "Top Sante Health & beauty". It had an articale called "with deepest sympathy" you see i lost my dad in 1996 and this year lost one of my best friends who i met at college! I'm 18 and people think i should be more growen up and not cry when it gets to me! and i just can't do that! this website made me realize i don't have to be ! THANKYOU!

Subject: many thanks

Thank you for posting your message. I am sorry to hear that you have suffered two deep losses. It sounds like you have been through a really difficult time. Its hard to imagine what it must be like to lose firstly your Dad, and then one of your best friends. I' m glad that you have found the website helpful and I think that your point about it being okay to cry is going to be a useful message for other people reading the message board. Everyone is unique and everyone deals in their own way with such losses, I hope that being able to express yourself in the way that you want will help you further along your journey.
I am wondering if there is anyone you could talk to about how you are feeling? Sometimes it is good to get some of your feelings out. You could call our helpline on 0808 808 1677, if you wanted to talk in confidence about whats happened, we have trained volunteers on the phones Mondays and Wednesdays 4pm-7pm.
Thanks again for your message its great to hear that you have found us, and i hope that you continue to enjoy the site.

Subject: Kirstie Scaife

Kirstie,
I'm not sure if you will see this message. There are no dates on the message board, so it's impossible to know when you wrote your message (maybe the technical team could add dates to the messages). Anyway, what I wanted to say to you is that if you need to cry, do it! It doesn't mean that you're not grown up if you do. I am 29 years old and lost my mum to breast cancer 7 years ago today (31st Oct) and I still feel the need to cry sometimes. In my experience, as time goes by, the pain doesn't really go away, but you do learn how to deal with it. Understanding that it's OK to cry and talk about it whenever you need to will help you deal with your devastating experiences in the longer term. Take care.

Subject: no subject

Hi. I'm not sure if you'll get this either but I thought I'd send a reply anyway.
My dad died nearly two years ago, then a week later my dads best friend died, he was a good friend of the family. My brother left home so now its only me and my mum and about 3 months ago my mum had a stroke. Now she needs full time care, and i'm normally the only one around to help her. Last week another one of my dads friends died. Over the last 3 years, 4 of my familys friends have died. I'm only 14 and i feel so alone.

Subject: Kirstie

Hi Kirstie
I lost my best friend a month and 3 days ago and i'm always crying i can't seem to find any other way to cope with my feelings or when i think i am never gonna speak or laugh with him again i can't seen to deal with it, i feel really stupid bursting into tears every now and again but i can't help it. Don't you let people tell you that you are not grown up just because you cry, it's your emotions and you can't help it everyone does it.

Subject: Thanx

Hi Thank you for a message that made me realise that i'm not by myself. My dad died when I was 11 four years ago this year and I still cry I have even tried to kill myself over it. I want to be back with him. I feel so stupid when I get upset and people always say I should have learned to life with my lose and that I shouldn't cry that's why I feel so alone. I sometimes wonder if I am the only one who cries after so long but your message has really helped me to feel that little bit better. Thanx

Subject:

hi kirstie - im pretty sure u wont see this but ill rite it anyway - my dad died 3 weeks ago and its been really hard 4 all of us - especially my mum - my dad had been in hospital 4 about 3 - 4 week before he died - im 12, and i find it really hard 2 tlk 2 people about it. its awful to see an adult cry , even worse your parent. lots of people are visiting our house, but i feel so alone just for people to know that there not the only ones out there that have lost a person close to them

Subject: Kirstie

I just want to say crying is done by ppl off all ages. Whatever makes you feel better do it. You are coping better than me. I know it's hard but there are brighter days ahead. Just look to the future. But if you need to cry then do. Things will get better. If you need to talk post me a message and I shall reply

Subject:my mum

hi i lost my mum aswell so you are not alone there. i lost my mum when i was 9 or 10 she died of brain tummers it really gets when my friends talk about there mums and they say that they hate them right in front of me love michelle