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Message from: Lucy, 10 Nov 04

Subject: (no subject)

my grandad was on holiday in scotland when he had to come back home because of breathing difficulties. he was complaining of backache so much and had lost a lot of weight. he saw a doctor in scotland who told him straight away he had lung cancer. my grandad had given up smoking 7 years ago. he got home and told my mum who then told me. i had just gotten home from a day out with my frieds and i went from the biggest high and the even bigger low. i couldnt stop crying and then i had to face my nan which was the hardest thing in the world. the doctors said he had about 6 months left. 5 weeks later he was dead. we had the funeral 4 days before my brother's 18th brithday party, so we could say goodbye without it hanging over our heads. this does not mean we wanted to forget him. on the way to the funeral i felt like crying so much but it was silent and noone else was so i counted the seconds to distract me. i got up to 673. i remember standing there as they brought the coffin past me and just breaking down and from then on i didnt stop crying throughout the whole ceromony. it was terrible thinking that my lovely warm hearted grandad who always gave me peppermints from his special tin was in that thing. two bouquets of flowers from me and my brother and from my cousins were on the coffin as it went down to be cremated. i still think about him almost everyday and whenever i hear the hymns we sung i think of that terrible time. im slowly getting used to the fact that he's not with us and i think that whatever im feeling my nan must be feeling a whole lot worse. ps i think i saw him the other night. he keep waking me up and i saw him. i know he's my guardian angel now, which is strange because he loved a good drink and was a bit of a rascal really

Subject:my granddad

I remember when I got told my Granddad had lung cancer. My mum said he had at least a couple of weeks. I went 2 c him but it was very hard. I founfd it really difficult because it did not look like my granddad. The funeral was hard for me because it had hit home. He was dead i could not bring him back. Nobody understands me. Everybody thinks I should have got over it.