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Message from: abbie, 9 Nov 04

Subject: the doll that made my family die on christmas

On christmas morring in 1998 me my 3 older sisters (2 twins aged 7 and my sister aged 8) with my brothers ( aged 10 and 11) when down 2 c wha santa got us. But when i saw the doll i got was not the 1 i wanted i was so cross and would not talk 2 any 1. At about 2:00pm we all went 2 My cousins. when it was time 2 go i did not want 2 go so i wanted to stay so my mum, dad , my sisters and my brothers got in 2 the car. about 3 hour later 2 men came 2 the door and told my ant that they has been a very bad car crase about 10 mins away from Sally's Toyshop so she went away with them. about a half a hour later she came back with a the doll i wanted and told me my mum,1 of the twin sisters my other sisister and my 2 brothers had been kill and my dad and my other twin sister were really ill but b4 my mum past away she told her 2 gave me the doll. she went back 2 my dad and my sister as i stay at her as she did not want me 2 c them as they were very ill an as i was only 4 years old. then about 4 hours later she came back 2 say my other sis had dead. then the next day we got word 2 say my dad had past away 2. Then 1 year my granda and grandma past away......... now 7 year later i some times think if I was not cross with my family on that Chrismas because of my silly old doll they could still b sitting here with and i would not be righting this. i still cry every night and hug my doll and know now i will near enjoy christmas again..... love from abbie

Subject:you are strong

dearest abbie, I can understand the pain you must feel on christmas, i was in an crash and lost a friend. we were going out for my b-day and i cant help but think what if..... but i know how dangerous that is so i try not to. i know you have been thru alot and life will never seem the same but know that you are not alone when you are crying at night. alot of us feel your pain. and this christmas i will be thinking of you and saying a prayer for all of us out there that cry alone at night.

Subject: Abbie

Abbie, I know it's hard but please don't blame yourself. You were only four and you can't be blamed for the tragic accident that killed your parents and brothers and sisters. I know if they were here that they would never want you to blame yourself. Most 4 yr olds get upset about presents, toys etc. That's normal and nothing happens to them. It was just a very tragic accident beyond your control. I know it's hard but when I get upset I just think of all the things my brother never got to do and think "Right I really have to live my life now and pack as much in as I can as a tribute to him". That's what he would want. Please don't blame yourself. I will be saying a prayer for you and your family this Christmas.