message board

Message from: Jenny, 01 Nov 04

Subject: I don't understand why my friend did it...

Hi,
My friend hung himself last friday(22nd of Oct). And so it is still very fresh in my head. The funeral was on monday. I havnet been able to sleep at all and I cant get the images out of my head. The thought of him just hanging there is so heart breaking. His brother found him in the garage and it was clear that he was dead but he called his neighbour who is a nurse and she tryed her best to bring him back but knew there was no hope. She sadi he had it well planned and he had a knife to cut the rope if he deided to back out of it. I have been friends with him since I was ten and I will now turn 18 in Jan, and I realy didnt see it coming. He had everything, If you had looked at the both of us when we were little you would have defo thought it would have been me who did this. Every were i read it says to burry the words "why" and "what if" but it just feels so imposible. I dont understand one bit and I have never been this upset at all. Its actualy hurting my heart. It just feels so hard and I wish I could just have one last convo with him.Is there any one else who has experienced this?

Love Jen

Subject:hope this helps

Hey hun, I kinda know what you're going through, my mum hung herself in Jan 2004 and I found her body one day when I came home from school. The thoughts and images of them hanging there will last along time, but eventually they will fade and they won't be on your mind all the time. With me it took a few months for the nightmares and flashbacks to go and I still get them once in a while. I found I needed to go through the "whys" and "what ifs" until I'd sorted it out in my head a bit, sometimes you just need to go over and over things.
Different things help different people but I found drawing what I saw or imagined helped then I threw it away or kept it. I find that nights are worst so keeping a tourch on while I try to sleep is good. If I really couldn't sleep then I would stay up and watch a movie or go on the net, I just tried to ride the worst nights through.
Try searching Amazon for a book called "A special scar" for people bereaved by suicide, that was a lifeline for me.
Please post back about anything if you need to, you're not alone and I know that your friend loved/cared about you. I thought I would never get through this year but somehow I'm still here, I wish I could do more to help, Take care, love and hugs, crizzielizzie xXx

Subject:i feel sorry for u

Im quite lucky nothing has happened to me like that but i feel so sorry for you really i do. No words can express the way I feel sorry for you, just be careful what you plan for in the future and be careful