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Message from: Nick, 04 Oct 04

Subject: Not sure I have a subject

My Mother died in September. I hated her when she was alive. She beat me, my brother and sister to within an inch of our lives.

They split, my parents (whose don't?) when we were small, there are - were six of us, three sets of twins, they split us up too, like we'd done something wrong. It was like losing the left half of your body. We moved out in the spring, my sister and me. My brother died a year ago, he killed himself. Now I live with my dad nothing's changed and everyone hates her and I feel guilty, like I killed her by moving out. No one understands why I miss her. I don't understand why I miss her. I cut myself like it's going to help me feel better. It hasn't yet.

Had no one else to talk to so I thought I'd send this. Not sure why.

Subject:A few kind words...hopefully

i cant really relate to your story because my parents stayed together and my mum was really good to me, but i can understand the fact that you miss her and that you cannot understand why. even though she didnt treat you well and your family had problems,she was still your mum so you cannot help but miss her. i didnt know why i wrote in when i did, i just felt like i was trying to reach out and find some sense in the mess that was my life, maybe that might be what your doing?