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Message from: Sarah, 3 Sept 04

Subject: I don't know what to do

My Nanna died almost 6weeks ago. She'd had lung cancer for over a year, but none of us expected this. She'd been in hospital over the weekend and my Dad (her son) had just arrived there to take her home but was told she'd died a couple of minutes before. I went to the funeral and cried so much - i'm crying now just trying to write this. But the truth is i don't know how to cope. I'm still in denial; it feels like any day now i'll walk into her house and see her sitting there again, waiting to hear all my gossip from my life. My family were all very supportive at the funeral, but everyone gets so upset if it's mentioned that i try to avoid talking to them. I talk to my friends, but i don't want to bore them by repeatedly talking about her death. I used to cut myself when i got depressed, but managed to stop a year ago - i'm so scared i start doing it again. I'm 18, i know thats probably quite old for this website, but I just don't know how to deal with this or what to do.

Subject: never too old

You are never too old too greive and never too old to ask for help i am almost 21 now and i lost someone close when i was 18 it still hurts sometimes but I've learned to talk to the people that care about me. try going to a counsler. or looking for support groups, to join. there are people like you and me who can just listen when you need them to, and help you get thru the pain. B strong b/c even if you can't feel her presence she is watching over you, and she loves you. try going to a place special to both of you and talking to her. even if she doesn't answer back she will hear you