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Message from: Raymond, 12 Aug

Subject: my sis is dead n its all my fault

oct.21,2001 12:07am is when it all happened. I was drinking n driving. she was with me. she had raised me. she is my mother father sister and bestfriend. she was 21 i was 19. that was almost 3 years ago. to me it is like yesterday. my whole life feels like it is over. its so hard to look at my parents knowing i killed their daugter my bestfriend. i keep doing everything wrong. i dont know what 2 do. it hurts so bad. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject:(no subject)

hey, i dont think ur sister blames u 4 wot happened and she would not want u 2 feel like this, ur parents may blame u but they also love you and knw that u made a mistake, and even tho u wish u hadn't u cant change the past, but u have got the courage to admit that u made a mistake, and that will b sum consolation to ur parents, if u want to talk msg back lv jj

Subject:please don't get upset

hiya. my mum died on the 2nd oct 2002 soo i get how you feel about your sisters death but you really shouldnt get annoyed with yourself. you should go and see a consellor or somone because you will be able 2 talk to them and feel better. x x x

Subject:thank-u jj n caroline

i do need 2 talk. i just didnt no how 2 reply 2 u. the day is coming up soon i need sum ideas how 2 make it a good day instead of bad

Subject:lil sis

hey babe plz dont think its your fault evryting happens for a reason, im sure she doent blame u in ne way. it must of bin hard 4 u and still is i no, i lost my dad 5 yrs ago n still find it hard. y not have a celebration in memory of her life. thinking of you x x x

Subject:please don't blame yourself

hi raymond, you replied to my message about my little brother, and i have also lef you a message on the message board. i just wanted to say please don't blame yourself. whatever happened that night you never intended for what happened to happen and your sister knows that. she knows how much you love her and she will be watching you now, most probably thinkin how silly your bein for blaming yourself and wishing you wouldn't. you didn't kill your sister. i honestly believe in fate and that there is a reason why our loved ones are taken from us. that doesn't make losing them any easier but it has helped me to think that my brothers death was inevitable, and that i could have done nothing to prevent it. i hope this helps you, even a tiny bit. take care and please don't ever give up. i'll check back if you want to reply. luv chrissie x x x x x

Subject: SISTERS

Hi raymond, i felt partly the same as you when my sister was murdered. if i hadnt have taken her out that night, if she had stayed at home things could have been different. i dont mean to sound horrible but you are the same age as me and your sister was older the same age as us now, she decided to get in the car with you so got in knowing the dangers. you have not said how much you had to drink and i dont expect you to but it is probably a case of you being to hard on yourself and thinking you had drunk more than you actually had. i have just had the 2nd ann of my sisters death and it would be her 21st in 2 weeks which is going to be hard. i dont know about you but this thought that things happen for a reason doesnt help me it makes me angry. like you i have often recently thought i should speak to someone about how im feeling and well done for thinking so. it is just a case of getting over feeling silly or embarrased about we feel, i do think you might benefit from this. i really hope things go well. dont be so hard on yourself and nothing anyone can say will help you with the guilt im afraid, but it will get easier although you will never forget or even forgive yourself. good luck and best wishes to you x

Subject:Raymond

evrything happens for a reason i dont think she would blame you. i understand how hard it must be loss is cruel and always unexplained we never know y it was, we just know what happened did. i believe that there is a reason for everything. i dont know what to sya that can help you as its likely what ever i say is just words no one can understand the pain or anger but u have to listern to urself and fight back. im sure that that is what ur sister would have wanted. be strong and fight back. I find doing something in memory or in the name of that someone helps. What were her interests what did she enjoy, maybe you caould raise money for or just help other to enjoy it. i dont know about how u would feel about this but i now it would be a way of saying sorry and showing how much you cared because she watches down on u im sure. Be strong and keep on fighting!
I hope this maybe of some help.
x

Subject:sorry

hi ya i dnt think that your sister would think it is your fault. your siter still loves you even now. if your sister was there now she would say get on with your life and stop balming your self wb love me xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Subject:I know

I know a little about that feeling. My best friend also feels that she killed her 11 year old sister, who was also my bbest friend. Her name was Elizabeth, she drowned. It was a freak accident. She went under water and when she came up she was gasping for air. Her sister got her out as soon as she could and layed her down. As soon as she layed h er down she died there and then. She feels she didnt get her out quick enough. I lost my best friend and I also lost a sister who's name was also Elizabeth.

Subject: (no subject)

look if it was u who died ur sis would prob b doin da same thing but if u eva drink n drive again she would prob b looking down on u . it was an accident so dont blamme ya self but think things happen 4 a reason mayb if she hadnt died then she may have died any way so plz plz say u wont do it again mi frend is gunna die in her 30 coz she has a diease and im worried but dont have it on ya.

Subject: (no subject)

I'm so sorry you feel this way...i need 2 let you know you are NOT alone, no matter how isolated you may feel right now.I 100% understand when you say that it feels like yesterday. I saw my best friend die almost 2 years ago, and I too blame myself. The healing process takes a long time, and although people may say 3 years is a long time,grieving has no time limits. Please,talk to a councillor. I understand how stuck you must feel right now...ive been there too, and sometimes a few kind words from someone can make things seem a little better. please don't give up...that's not what your sister would have wanted. She would have wanted you to continue your life and seek help if you needed it.If you feel angry, i think it would be a good idea to try kick-boxing, as it can really get any extra agression out...sometimes we need an outlet for our pain.
I'm here for you..you're not alone.
xxxxx