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Message from: Lozzy, 29 June 04

Subject: My sister

I'll never forget the day she died it was the sadest day of my life shev got dianosed with cancer a couple of weeks before she died before they though it was a virus if they had caught early enough then she would still be with us i keep thinking that at least i knew my sister was going to die but some people it comes a great big shock so i think it hits them harder but weather you know or not its the hardest thing your gonna have to deal with.

Subject:My sister died, a few months ago

You might think she died of an accident, cancer, some kind of sickness. But no she comitted sucide, you might think that is selfish of her to do this, but no she did it for her own goods. I cannot get over it, and i have been drinking ever since she died. I was really close to her. She was my baby sister and she had to die on me. I don't know what to say but please, please do not start drinking or anything crazy because it has a crazy effect on me. I can't believe my sister comitted sucide, it is the hardest to except this, but me you, other people will somehow get through this together, by reading this message board. If you want to know her age, she was only 13 years old.

Subject:I lost my brother

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister, and anyone else who has lost a sibling, I can totally relate to as I also lost my big brother, my only sibling unexpectantly 3 years ago and it has broken my heart. Noone understands apart from those who have experienced a similar loss, people say such stupid things like "you should get over it" or "move on" or "time will heal" All those sayings are absolute rubbish. They make me so angry, you just have to keep living because theres not much choice, life makes you carry on but my life will always be shattered by losing my brother. I've always been a sister but now I have noone to be a sister to, it's like i've lost my label, I have noone to tease, to wind up and argue over the washing up or the playstation with, I've been a sister since I was born and now I'm a brotherless sister, people ask "have you got any brothers or sisters" I used to be able to answer that no problem but now i just freeze, I bet people expect me to say I'm an only child if they knew the truth but I won't ever say that, it would be denying he ever existed and he is so alive in my mind. Its just so hard, I miss him more everyday and I just don't know how I'll ever accept something that feels so wrong. I've realised from experience that most people don't understand and say stupid things so now I rarely talk about it to people, even friends don't want to hear it, most of which I've drifted apart from anyway, I feel more sane on my own. I go to college, go to work, do what I have to do but noone knows I feel so lost and am so scared of the future without my brother to grow up with and share life with.

Subject:I don't know if this helps

Hi am 14 years old and i lost My dad my nan my grandad my little sister my older brother my best mate and my boyfriend and yea it really hurts and i could not face life but then you have to cos they want you to carry on with life and not be sad but i really hope this helps you it is bad and it does hurt and it is scarey and i forgot to matchin i lost my baby aswell so it is hard.
So all can say is keep your head up and good luck with you lives Love Lisa xxxxxxxxxxxx

Subject:Loss of a sibling

My brother died 8 years ago and it is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. People do say the most stupid things or try and avoid discussing it all together but it's only cos they have no idea what to say. The only way you can ever understand is if you've been through it yourself. I drunk a crazy amount after he died and I can honestly say my life has never been the same since. All I know is that the pain never ever goes away but it does become easier to deal with and the times where I totally freek out and lose it have become less and less. I really believe that losing someone close to you is one of the worst if not THE worst thing that can ever happen to a person and people close to you who don't know what you're going through are not always that great at dealing with it. I think it's important to speak to people who have been through a similar experience, that way you will know that you are not alone cos sometimes that feeling of loss and loneliness after a pe rson dies is the most unbearable thing. The pain never goes away, but it does get easier bit by bit.

Subject: I lost my brother

i am 15 and i lost the closest part to me which was my 19 year old brother. i went through a stage of self harm, drinking and losin my m8s. it hurts lk crap and i love and misss him loads.

Subject: I am the same

hey Maz i am the same as u. i did all that. i know how u feel. i am 15 and i lost my bro 6months ago.

Subject:I lost my sister

I know how you all are feeling, losing my sister is the hardest thing in my life that I have ever had 2 deal with and I am still not over it yet. My older sister was handicapped and it felt as if we were watching her die, each day she would get weaker and it would break my heart. This was 13 years agom, but only now I am grieving. I also feel angry because she was picked on and humiliated for being disabled, people can be so cruel!! I also started drinking to cope and I found myself becoming this person that I no longer recognised, I wasnt the person that my sister loved.Now the only thing that keeps me going, is the thought that she is always with me and I know that I have to survive and stay strong if I want her memory to survive.Just live the life that ur sibling would have wanted you to live and take each day as it comes. Lotsa Love Lorna xx

Subject: losing my brother

i lost my big brother 2 years ago threw liver disease and it broke my heart. i still cant believe hes gone. it was a shock as i didnt expect it to happen so quickly. i miss him so much. i cant get him out of my mind. i keep thinking about the last time i seen him. i never got to tell him how much i loved him. i can never forgive myself for that. i mis him so much. we were very close.

Subject: i lost my brother

i lost my brother too just 4 months ago. high grade glioma brain tumor, it was a month before his 16th. it was so sudden he collapsed one night and died 4 days later. i feel so lost i need someone to talk to but no one seems to notice me all they ask about is my parents, im 19 and i have good friends but ive never felt more alone in my life. i really dont know how to get through this i no longer have the energy or motivation to do the things i used to and i just cant seem to get my head around the fact that ill never see my little brother again i see him in my dreams but il never know if its just my imagination i really dont know what to do or who to talk to anymore everytime i cry my mum tells me im tired. im at a loss.

Subject: i lost my brother

I was reading your story >In May on the 11th I lost my only sibling I am so lost i can not even cope, is my email (we're sorry Ellen, but for safety & confidentiality we don't post people's personal e-mail addresses, hope you can understand why we have to do this, all the best RD4U) is my email. Hope to hear from you and we can share our grief. ellen