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Message from: leannexx, 29 June 04

Subject: my mum too!

How is it that we feel so helpless, like if we payed more attention to the signs we could have done something to help her. My mum died two days b4 my 12th bday and i am now 16... i spose ive got through it but it wasnt easy. ive done some horrible things to myself,, like i was angry with my own skin for not noticing. My mum took an overdose,the worst thing was that my friends at first thought i was lying an they wernt realy their for me. but their sorri now an they will always be their for me. I think that how u get thru things,, mothers day, birthdays an of course anniversarys.. as my mum an dad wer devorced i had to go an live with my nan. i think of her as a mum now but we both no their was no replacing my mum. We got through our lose together, as my mum was her daughter.. My mum was really depressed then she turned ill, i never noticed which has been eating me up for years.. the anger and the depression goes away but never the memory of my mum. Ive forgotten her face her voice and her ways, but i still love her,, unfortunatly our simple human brains wernt designed to remember but their is never forgetting that your mum loved u.. Imsorry that their is so many people who have lost their mums,, all i can say is that it getts easir but you never forget the person u loved most. faces and voices dont matter it the person inside you will remember and its great to know that. I hope this helps some of the people who read this who are in the same possition,.i promise it may not feel like it but it gets easier. u move on even if u dont want to. your mum will be their wen u need her including your exams.. hope this helpedand i would love to hear from others who have gone throught trough the same thing... leannexx

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