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Message from: Shelley, 22 June 04

Subject: please help

Hi, I lost a really close cousin Jan 24th at mid-night. I really miss him loads, I couldn't go to his service to say a real good-bye because I was too upset, I couldn't face it. I am not over him, his deathe has left a big hold in my heart and I dont think it could never be filled by anyone. It feels like it was yesterday I heard the bad news and I feel lost with out him. My life has turned around because of it, I think about him all the time, esp when im on my own. Please help me, I need help with getting over his deathe. I think its harder because its bring back the memorys of Liam who died in my arms at the age of 2.
I want my life to end, everyone I love is leaveing me. PLEAS HELP

Subject:I lost my cousin too!

Hi Shelly,

I lost a cousin too and I know how you feel. When I was growing up my cousin felt like my sister and bestfriend rolled into one. When she died suddenly last year I felt like a piece of me had been ripped away. But then I realised, although it was very hard, she hadn't been ripped away from me, she'd just been moved to a different place. I can't see her or have a conversation with her, but I know she's always there and she knows how I felt about her before she died.

I had such a hard time dealing with her death, even now I have days when i can't handle it and it is hard. i just learnt to get on with it. I try to work through it day by day but it's not easy.

What you need to realise is though...nothing will fill that gap you feel cos it's not empty, it just needs to be rearranged - instead of filling it with new memories, fill it with happy thoughts and past times to make you smile. Never try to bury it or ignore it, that's when it become a problem. Just use it as a new place to store all those things yo never thought you had anywhere to put.

Please feel free to contact me back.


Lots of love Erika x