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Message from: kt, 27 May 04

Subject: (no subject)

my friend died a while ago & now if i get upset about it i cut myself. the other day i was so depressed i thought about killing myself, i even planned out how i was going to do it, for some reason it made me feel happy thinking about it, i think i felt happy because of the thought of seeing my friend again. i know i should stop but i cant, its like im addicted!

the only thing that i know now is, is that God doesnt exist, that is the only thing im sure of now. if he did exist he would try to help me through this tough time!

if anyone feels the same way as i do dont go to far, and try to stop yourself, i cant & i know that it doesnt make you feel good! please just stop if your in my situation.

Subject:Don't Cut, Don't Kill

I have been bullied for 5 years, and planned to kill myslelf last year in 2003. I planned of something new every month. I had cutted myself and my parents found out and told me to stop. And i didn't they really got angry at me for doing this. this is so much for my parents standing up to me. Then i had plans to kill myslef. I was accidently talking to myself out loud and my favorite teacher stood there listening to me, i not realising that he was listening to me. He then talked to me and said don't do it. But i kept on talking about it as if i was turning into some crazy person. He then told the headmaster and i had to go aftert shcool and they were talking to me for over an hour. I hated every minute and almost died that night, if the teahcer hadn't safed me. Therefore i advice you not to do anything stupid like i did, your parents need you, i am sure you have other friends, and you guys are going through the same thing so when ever there is a difficult time talk to your friend about your believes. I could talk to my teacher as i had no friends at all and i started to believe in myself. So don't cut, don't kill. If you have feeling you want to do somethign stupid talk to a friend, maybe an adult you trust or even go to the message board. There always people who need you.You are not alone in the world. There is always someone there for you.

Subject:listen please

I always used to feel the same when my nan died, you see I was very close to her, and I just couldnt understand the point in living without her, I went through lots of times when I didnt understand why other people in the world carried on with life, when my nan had died, it seemed so cruel, and unjust. especially when I thought of all the murderers and criminals on the loose, I wanted to know why had my nan died, she was a good person, kind friendly had lots of friends, and most importantly a heart of gold, and those people were ignorant, and hurtful, doing things without a care for the poeple they hurt, and their families.
It might feel like their is no god, because if their was why is he taking good people and sparing the bad, but then I came to the conclusion that everybody has a purpose in life, and once they have acheived this, god takes themt o heaven, and this is so that they can carry out a job for god, one he has chosen and one only they can do. Please do not hurt yourself, it will get easier and pass, so remember its not your time to go yet, because you have filled out your purpose in life yet. Hold on in there, and im always here to talk.Think of your family and how they would feel if anything happened,and also think of all of those people like my nan who dont want to die, but are nevertheless beyond their control terminally ill. My nan struggled for her last breaths at only 57 years old, and I always think of her whenever anyone says they want to kill themselves, and how selfish it would be to kill yourself when so many people are dying beyond theiir control but long to live.
Good luck, and whenever you feel so low as we all have dont hesitate to mail me. xxxxx Kayelise