| Subject: I lost
my boyfriend
I lost my boyfriend 4 years ago now and even though its much
easier these days, i still feel the pain. i dont think unless
youve been through it yourself you understand. friends and family
try to do their best to get you through it but nothing seems to
make the pain go away. i would give anything to have him back
with me and now writting this, my eyes are filling up. when it
happened i wanted to end it all. i wanted all the pain to just
go away. the reason im still here today is that i could never
put my family through it. i couldnt let them feel what im feeling.
people seem to think that after all this time i should just have
forgotten about it but it doesnt work like that. i still cry whenever
i think of him. i still think of what we could of had together.
nobody knows the pain im still going through and even now sometimes
it doesnt feel real. the only advice i could give to any of you
that are going through what i went through would be to just take
each day as it comes and to take things at your pace. you cant
rush it, it wont go away. it does however get easier and one day
instead of crying when you think of your loved one, you'll smile
and think of all the happy times instead of feeling sad.
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Subject:Dear Charlotte
I just read your message. I am so sorry to hear about your boyfriend and i found it very true what you said that nobody really understands until you go through it. I lost my boyfriend in a car crash 9 weeks ago. He was the most amazing person you could meet, he was only 18. Its supposed to be his birthday tomorrow, and it was my 19th the day you posted your message. Sometimes things like that make me think James is there trying to help me get through this. Alot of what you said i felt very much the same way, and I felt like James was saying to me 'Don't give up Katie, I'm still here, you just cant see me, but i still love you'. James was my world. We had planned our whole lives, getting married, having children, everything. We were so happy and everyone said we were the perfect couple. The pain of not being able to grow up with him is unbearable, and just like you said, nobody truly understands until they go through it. People say im still young and i will have other boyfriends, but to me thats like saying his parents could adopt another son. But i try to think of how lucky I am to have shared the time i did with him, and to try and learn from him, because he was always so happy and had the most beautiful smile that lit up his whole face, and he was so giving and just wanted to make others happy. He said this year was the happiest year of his life and in a way i can take comfort that he never suffered pain, he just had such a full, happy life. I feel like half of me is missing right now, but i now have my beautiful baby as a guardian angel, with me all the time to guide me through life until i have achieved what he did, the ability to give love and receive it and become such a genuine person, and then i will be reunited with him. hes safe now and, like your boyfriend, there helping us through the bad times, laughing when we make a fool of ourselves, and urging us to live our lives as full as we can with no regrets. Make them proud of us. I wish you the best of luck. Take care of yourself, lots of love Katie x
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Subject:me too!
itz been 6 months on the 22nd of july since i lost me boyfriend! he was only 15 (same as me) and the love of my life!! we did everything together!! i was only happy wen i was with him!! now everything as changed i miss him more and more everyday!! there will neva b a day i dont think about him!! i cut myself and try comitting suiside 3 times but only ended up in hospital with damage! i still cry over him everyday and it doesnt get easier but at least i can smile now and then and suiside as gone out of my head although i still self harm when things get out of control. i know he wud want me to be happy and get on with my life, he wasnt one to dwell over death. i will go on 4 his sake and i know i will c him again one day. my memories keep me goin n no1 will eva replace him, he was my number 1!! hope you can do this same! all the best xx
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