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Message from: Laura - 31 Mar 04

Subject: my b/f

I have just lost my b/f a month ago, of a brain tumour and although people say tings wil gt beta, i doesn't seem 2 b, all i can tink bout every minute of da day iz him. Many people didnt know how close we were nd dat e woz da 1! I am already sufferin frm depression nd wnt 2 end my life, although da only ting stoppin me iz nt wantin my friends nd family 2 go thru da same pain i am feelin! Dus any1 feel da same?

Subject:Hi Laura

Don't despair - I lost my boyfriend to cancer in Jan 2004, very quickly. People say stuff 'cause they don't understand how you feel right now. Takes another person who's been thro the same to truely understand. I won't lie - when my b/f died, I wanted to join him. That feeling goes away - you still want him, miss him etc. but the hurt very very slowly is less painful. Unlike the others around you, you're the one that will never forget your b/f.

Hang in there and do things at your own speed.

Chin up, girl.
Jane
xxxx

Subject:Hi Laura

i can understand where u r comin from, when my dad died i wasn't able to grieve properly and now i am payin for it with depression. Everyday i feel like i wnt to end it and the only reason i don't is because i don't wnt to cause anymore pain to my family. I don't know who am half the time cuz this definately is not how i used to be, knowing that others feel the same tho and that u aren't the only one helps.

Subject:I UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL

Laura, Im prob not the best person to reply and give you any advise ... i completely understand how you are feeling. I lost my boyfriend 4 months ago. The only way i keep going is to just go one day at a time - i don't like to think of the future, not yet, because it's not how it is meant to be. But i do think that everything happens for a reason and when it is my time to go i think my boyfriend, Neil, will be waiting for me. ... Well thats what i keep telling myself!! I find the things that help me at the moment are staying busy - really really busy - i tend not to sleep much! I see my friends more than i used to, i see my Neils parents - they need all the support they can get, and they are really what keep me going, and i spend a lot of my time talking to Neil at the cemetetry. Im doing the things we talked about doing when we were together although i maxed out my credit card... prob not a good idea, but it made me feel better! Im not really sure what im trying to say, but i just wanted you to know that i understand, and im here if you want to chat about anything.
Big hug
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Subject:i know how u feel

Laura, i know exactly what your going through. i lost my boyfriend in january 2004, he got knocked off his bike. he was and always will b the one for me and the best ive eva had i will neva forget him. i always sit and think bout him every minute of the day. i tried to kill myself wen it happened, i ad to be stopped. ive realised now that he would want me to get on with my life. i still dont believe that and dwell over him all the time but it does stay in ma head. i went out for the first time last friday. it was awful but i no he wud b proud of me. he was everything to me and i find it hard to beleiev i can go on but you gotta keep ya chin up. just think what they wud want u to do!!!

Subject:Thank u

Jus wntd 2 say thank u 2 all da peps dat reply 2 my msg, it meant a lot 2 me nd now i know dat der r oder peps who r goin thru da same!
der pain iz stil da pain, nd it feels as if it is gettin worse, bt i know nt 2 give up nt coz of my friends nd family, coz i know e wudn't wnt me 2, i ave da chances e neva had, nd i beleive e wil alwayz b wid me, nd 1 day in da future we wil b reunited again!

Subject:to hannah

sorry i havent replyed for ages but i have been busy with exams and stufff. my dad died in a car accident. it was very sudden which hurt me alot. i havent self harmed in 2 months now, but as i say that i am going through a bad time with missing my dad, so i dont know how long it will last. My friends most of the time support me with my self harm, they were the ones who told me to get help. but other times they can be unfair, they can tell me that i can only stop this. but what they dont get is that its not a thing a can control easly, as u might find.
how old are you? i am 17. at the moment i am in the middle of my a's exams, so its really hard coping with the loss of my dad going on through my head. reply if you want
kezs xx

Subject:kezzyanna

Ppl jus don't understand y we self harm bt like u i avn't dun it 4 quite while nw so i'm quite proud of meself n u shud b proud of u 2. my frends always told me 2 get help bt i cudn't do it i didn't wnt 2 hurt me mum n family n that is wot has really forced me 2 stop.
My dad's death was expected eventually bt nt as quickly as it did happen, he had cancer, i htink that is wot hurts so much coz i neva gt the cahnce 2 say gudbye as u can prob relate 2.
i've tried focusin on the positive things in my life bt i can't seem 2 find many n the mor i gey upset the mor my family does and i h8 that they start worryin bout me 2 much. they say that u shud grieve 2getha bt evry1 else seems 2 av dun thier grievin n i'm still tryin 2 do mine, bt wen ur life is so full of wrk n college n exams its ard 2. i feel like i'm neglectin grief n that mkes me feel guilty that io don't think bout him enuff bt it also hurts 2, i hope he understands.
I'm 17 nw 2 at college, luckily i don't av ne exams jus assignments bt they drive me jus as mad n can b really stressful wen u gt 4 or 5 at a time!
How long ago did ur dad die if u don't mind me askin?
I hope u do well in ur exams n i'm sure ur dad wud b proud of u no matter wot as well.
reply soon
luv n hugs
Hannah

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