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Message from: louanne - 02 Mar 04

Subject: I cant cum 2 terms with it!

Even tho it happend in January 25th i still cant cum 2 terms with my grandmas death. When she died i didnt know wat 2 do i creid but in a sad way i was happy for her coz she was fineally at rest n wasent in ny more pain. I hate myself tho becoz i didnt see her that often i saw her in hosptal on saturday 17th and then i didnt go on the sunday coz i wasent well n then i was not able 2 make it 2 the hospital on nites thru the week (as my mum wud go straight from work and i went home from skool n wasent able 2 get to the hospital) and then i was goin 2 go 2 the hospital on the saturday 24ht but i didnt go coz i was goin 2 the theatre that nite n i didnt really have time 2 go 2 the hospital. So i planned 2 go on the sunday and then sunday came and my mum said that she wasent gunna go 2 the hospital coz she had been everyday since my gran had gone in. SO we decided to go 2 out 2 out local club and have a gud time until my dad got that fone call it was the hospital askin my mum n dad 2 go. I was asked if i wanted 2 go but i said no! n now i wish i wud ov gone 2 the hospital on the saturday bcoz my gran passed away on the sunday. My mum n dad got 2 the hospital and it was too late she had already gone. I got a fone call n just remember breakin down in tears. N now i ask myself why didnt i go 2 the hospital on the saturday? n i really hate myslef now for not goin!
louanne xx

Subject: Your Grandma

Hi Louanne,
I'm sorry to hear about your grandma's death.I won't pretend to try and understand what you are going through,but I do think it is important that you don't blame yourself.We all do things that we wish we hadn't and there is no way to turn back time, no matter how much it hurts or how much we want to.I think what might be best is if you try and remember all the good times you had with your grandma rather then that you didn't get to see her one last time.
I hope this has been of some help and please do write again if you feel the need.Take care xXx

Subject: SORY BUT I KNOW WHAT UR GOIN THROUGH

i AM SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOUR NAN. MY NAN DIED IN AUGUST AND I STILL CANT GET OVA IT. I EVEN STARTED HARMING MYSELF PROB BECAUSE MY GRANDAD DIED IN NOV A COUPLE OF MONTHS AFTER. I DUNO WHAT 2 DO I HAVE SPLIT UP WIT MY BFRIEND COZ OF IT E SAYS I SHOUD MOVE ON BUT HOW CAN I MOVE ON WHEN I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HER. ANYONE WHO IS GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING PLZ REPLY COZ I WOUD LIKE 2 HEAR FROM SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS.

Subject: i now wot itz lyk

hi sorry 2 hear ur grandma died mine died a year ago and i wouldnt stop crying and i still even cry now if i see her picture or some1 tells me stuff bout her
xxx icky xxx