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message no. 2603

From: sara

Subject::my mum
I lost my mum 2years ago almost 3 on january 5th. For those two years i would sit alone and cry when i would think of her. I then started blocking out the pain not even realising it by chilling with my friends and going out but then as time went on i realised i was isolating myself from family because that was something i gotten used to wen i was at home just sitting alone in my room and watchin tv or playing games or on the phone, up until i went to university then i started really suffering and finding it hard to cope i started having panic attacks and anxious thoughts of death, that is when i was told that it is because i didnt greave my mum, and now i am starting to greave it is the most painful emotion its opening a wound that never healed and now am in the process of accepting it and starting with life it is soo hard everyday i cry because i feel like i dont know were to start anymore everyday every sec she is always on my mind 1st person i think of when i wake up and the last person i think of when i am going to sleep

Reply from: erin
Subject : my mum
my mum died a year ago and i am going through a similar thing. it's only just starting to feel like it happened to me. all i can think about is how i am going to die. i hope that things get better for you in the future :)
Reply from: Danielle
Subject : mum
My mum died three years ago.My mum was my only family so I am in a foster home now.I always sit in my room crying and listening to music thinking how shit my life is.Adults in my life telling me to move on and accept mum has gone but I cant just do that me and mum were so close we were with eachother all the time.I looked after my mum because she had kidney faluer.My mum and me were always together enjoying eachother company.Now I am in a foster family I am getting to know what a family feels like because I have never had one.I always wish to die.I have had 12 sessions of counselling and I have to see a psychologist to see what is going on in my head.I miss mum so much.I cant see any success for me in the future without mum because she was my life,my happiness,my sholder to cry on,my only family.I feel I will be alone.I am 15 now.My mum died when I was 11.You are right what you said if you hide away you are blocking everyone out and soon they will stop trying to help and will just not want to know

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