message board

Message from: Mackenzie - 26 Feb 04

Subject: help

hi my name is mackenzie im 11 years old my mom died in spetember i dont want to say how she died becuse it is not nice but i just need to talk to sum1 well i need to type to sum1 becuse i wont talk.
everyone is bin nasty to me at school calling me the mute girl and it is upseting me i just dont no what to do

Subject: Hi

Hi my name is sophie, i lost me dad in november and it was really sudden. I was 18 at the time, you need to ignore people at school because they don't no wat u r goin through. If you don't want to talk or talk bout wat happen then that is completely fine. I found it helpful talking to a counsellor and on here.

Subject: my mum too

dear mckenzie my mum died n december and its the worst thing thats happened to me. i now live with my gran and 6yr old sister. i feel like you too its really hard to deal with some days i just feel lyk running away but no i cnt leave my gran and sis. why dont u ask to go to a counsiller which i am. it realy helps it takes the stress from body let it all out. hope to hear from you.

lauren xx

Subject: Someone is here for you

Hey mackenie,
Just wanted to let you know someone is here, loads of hugs for you. My mum died in a really horrible way a month ago and I just wanted to say I know what its like. I always feel like I can't tell anyone because its too unpleasant to talk about and people just don't want to hear. And all my friends still have their parents so they have no idea how to help. If you want to talk to me just reply, I'll check the message board. Take care, lizzie xXx

Subject: help

hi its mackenzie again thanku for sending me bk a letter. everything is relly hard i live with my dad and my sister sommer she is 8
i used to talk to my teacher at skool but i dont anymore i took some tablets and was in hospital becuse i just wanted to bewith my mom they are making me go see a counsiller and i dont want to go i dont want to talk i just want my mom nobody cares they all just get cross at me and i dont no what to do anymore.
i havent been to skool in 2 days becuse they keep calling me the mute girl and saying my mom is dead cuz she wanted to get away from me i just wish i was never naughty for my mom and then maybe she would not have wanted to die and leave me im sorry i typed a long letter

Subject: (no subject)

Hi Makenzie, my name is brian and i was reading your post and it really upset me, i feel so sorry for you. haveing such an important person leave your life when your so young must be horrific. you said you didnt want to go to see a councillor but in the long run i think you should. i hated councillors, i always think they dont know anything because they come from a different walk of life from me but it does help. if you keep everything bottled up inside it will be worse in the long run i promise. just because you talk to a councillor doesnt mean you have to talk to anyone else. if you dont want to speak to people thats fine. as for the kids at school, i know everyone must say this, but you should just ignor them. you knew your mum better than anyone else in the world and you know deep down inside she didnt die because of something you did. Nothing you would have done could have made her do what she did. no matter how angry she was when you were naughty, you shouldnt blame yourself. kids are naughty all the time and your mum would have known that. people do unexplainable things all the time, some just dont know any other way out of a certain situation. kids at school used to pick on me because i was gay but they soon get bored. you have to be strong and stick up for yourself, thats what your mum would want you to do. she wouldnt want to see you as upset as you are would she? be careful with yourself sweetheart. please reply to let me know how you are. brian xxx

Subject: thinking of you

Hey Mackenzie,
I know its hard to ignore what people say but remember they probably have no idea what it's like when a parent dies. Don't listen to what they say, it really isn't true, its normal to feel guilty but it really isn't your fault. I have so many regrets and wish I could have been nicer to my mum at times or told her I loved her more, I'm finding it so hard to come to terms with that and I know that it is ok to have regrets. I don't really want to go and talk with a councillor either but I'm going to try it once then if it does help I can go again.
Take care of yourself,i know your having a horible time and i don't know what your feeling but try not to take any more tablets as it doesn't help and lots of people love you. keep talking here if it helps, its good to talk to people about it, love and hugs, crizzielizzie xxx sorry for the long long letter!

Subject: Mackenzie

people tried to make me see councillers after my dad died i went once and refused 2 go again no1 can can make you av councilling if you dont want it
Ryan

Subject: why dont they all leave me alone

thanx for all the msgs it was nice that u culd send me a msg , i went back to school today and it was horrible nobody talked to me and nobody was nasty they just kept laughing at me , everytime they walked past me they wuld put there fingers on the mouth like u had to in infant skool when u had to be quiet.
i relly hate skool and i feel relly lonly , evry1 used to b nice n now they just b horrible n i don't know why really..i hope u are all ok love mackenzie xxxxx how old r u all

Subject: hi

hi, y wud u want these ppl 2 talk 2 u when they r being horrible. there are lots of nicer ppl in these world who want to talk to u. instead of getting upset about them not talking to u, ignore them. if u don;t like them anyway y wud u want to be there friend. u seem really nice and if u wanna talk 2 me u can. tell me bout stuff. lv jaynee

Subject: but i dont have no friends

hi its mackenzie i no they r bein nasty but i dont have no friends now they all just ignore me and its horible i wish they wud be nasty again i dont like bein ignored i just feel so lonly i go to my moms grave at dina times just so i dont need to be on my own y did my mom have to leve me all on my own its not fair i wish i waz dead wiv my mom i hate me
luv mackenzie

Subject: ur not a bad mate

Hi lavender. I totally understand u thinkin ur a bad mate but ur not. I lost my mum 2 years ago and i had no one to talk not even my best mate because they dont understand what its like. They probably do know about ur dad but dont like sayin anything in case they upset u. Its totally normal to feel this way as I have felt this way 2. So dont worry. ps hope this helps. luv rach x