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Message from: Katie - 23 Feb 04

Subject: My Mum

I lost my Mum suddenly in Jan last year. It does get easier in the sense that the initial shock has gone I suppose and that somehow life does "go on", but I can't help but play the whole thing over and over in my mind.
I was the only member of my family not there when she died coz it was the only night EVER I'd not checked my mobile and my Dad in his panic told the nurses at the hospital my wrong address, so police were knocking at the wrong door. I feel so guilty about not being there for my Mum, also for my Dad and younger brother too.
I also think about all the horrid things I did, all the arguments and the things I said in the heat of the moment but never really meant. I'd give anything just to tell her I love her.
Most of the time now I'm fine, I think about her loads but concentrate on the good memories, etc. But sometimes I feel like I'm close to losing the plot.

Does anyone else feel like this?

Subject: I Feel The Same

Hi I lost my dad three months ago, i miss him so much. I sometimes feel like I m ok and then it feels like my world is collasping. I wasn't there either when my dad died, i was at university like an two hours away in portsmouth.

Subject: (no subject)

i too know how ur feeling, i lost my dad four months ago now. I also wasnt there when he died as im away at university, my friends all think im strange when i say i wish i was there but they dont understand what its like to lose a parent suddenly. sometimes i also feel like im losing the plot as most of the time i manage to block it out and act normal around my friends but then theres days where it just creeps up on me and i feel like im going mad, its on those days i wonder if this will ever get any easer. take care x x

Subject: (no subject)

I don't know what to say, I guess there are no magic words. Thank you both for replying; it's good to here from people who are feeling the same and know that I'm not going mad!

Love to you both, Katie x

Subject: i feel the same to!

i feel exactly the same, i wasnt there when my mum died a month ago, its so hard i wish i could just talk to her one more time and hug her.

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