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message no. 239

Message from: kelsie - 05 Feb 04

Subject: loss of a brother

my brother was strong fit and healthy, and one day he just got ill it took ages to diagnose his cancer by then it was to late. my brother was what you might call a 'jack the lad' very cheeky as well but full of life and confidence. i watched him fade away over 3 months feeling so redundant there was nothing i could do, but watch him try to beat the terrible pain eating away at him, i was relieved when he died because i couldnt face seeing him like that anymore. he died in my mothers arms with the family close by. Its neally two years ago now and its changed my whole life sometimes i feel like i cant control anything that everything is out of reach, do others feel like this?

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