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message no. 2265

From: jessica

Subject: Depressed all the time

My name is jessica i am 19 years old and i feel depressed all the time.
On the 24th Jan 09 one of my very close friends named danny killed himself and he was 20 years old loads of friends and family who loved him. His nan died when he was 11 or 12 years old he kept things bottled up approx 8 years and it eventually got the better of him. Since danny died i have had alot of problems i have been crying out of the blue because of it, been very moody, havent eaten all too well and i feel now like i am keeping all my feelings bottled up and i dont want it to get the better of me.
Danny was an extremely close friend of mine whenever i had a problem i would text him and he would reply or meet up with me and sort things out and talk. Danny was a loving guy, helpful and the kindest guy i have ever met.
I miss danny deeply every morning i wake up thinking another day without danny and try to put on a brave face but i feel now in my heart i miss danny even more every single day and its breaking my heart more and more.
I dont have many friends i can talk to about it.. i see somebody for anger management but i find it too hard to talk about. I am very sensitive as it is and this whole situation is breaking me up and destroying me now.
Please i need help i am very upset and as i said before i dont want it to get the better of me
thank you

Reply from: Tash
Subject : Im the same
My best friend passed away at the age of 16 on the 17th April 2008 after having a heart attack after she slit her wrists in the bath.

I cried all day and night the day she went, and then after that I couldn't cry at all. I just felt completely dead, and that is how I wanted to be. She was always the one who cared, and was always there for me, and I felt awful for not being there for her.

Its been a year now and sometimes I get so down there are no words to describe it. But nothing we love is ever lost. We keep a part of them with us always, and remember, every day you live is a day closer to seeing them.

Take care, love Tash xx

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