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message no. 223

Message from: Calvin - 16 Jan 04

Subject: missing my brother

hi are there any guys out there who need to talk. my little brother died 2 years ago and i miss him so much it hurts more each day. i wake up having to think of a reason to live i just want the pain to go away but i miss him so much.

Reply from: nikki - 19 Jan 04

Subject: (no subject)

hi my names nikki. i lost my brother comin up 5 months ago. he woz only 6. he woz such a lovely boy and i still dnt understand why he had to die. its ben really hard resently especially will xmas. its his birthday on the 28th of feb and i kno its goin to be really hard. my siter put some pictures of him in the gallery. it will b nice to tlk 2 u if u want 2 and im here if u need to tlk.

Reply from: CAL - 20 Jan 04

Subject: Thanks

I'm really sorry to hear about ur brother hes looks like a cheeky kid, he looks a lot like my godson. my bro went more than 6 months ago but i still cant deal with and if im honest never will he was my best friend and we were close and i still feel the pain. i know how u must be feeling and i dont have any answers for you there is no easy solution and u must be really sad and angry. thanks for replying

Reply from: Nikki - 22 Jan 04

Subject: (no subject)

Hi calvin,
thanks for replying. i do feel angry sometimes the man who caused the accident that killed my little brother probably wont face charges and he hasnt even apolagised to my family. im lucky because my little brother didnt feel any pain wen he died, he woz crushed to death and died instantly. me nd my little brother were so close im still so upset. i try to put on a brave face but inside it just hurts so much.
hope your ok.
Nikki xxx

Reply from: CAL - 23 Jan 04

Subject: HI

As i said i dont have any answers for you as i am still devestated over my brother and i miss him more every day and the pain gets worse for me. my brother died when he was 13 and he was my best friend an we were so tight. we weer born exactly 3 years 3 days and 3 hours apart. u lost ur bro when he was so young which must of been worse for u but like u i am real angry still but unlike u i blame myself still and i just dont know how much longer i can take this pain as i know it wont go away. speak to u soon

Reply from: Nikki - 27 Jan 04

Subject: Hay

im really sorry you blame yourself. for a couple of months after my brother died i did blame myself because he wanted to come with out with me for the day but me and 1 of my friends had planned a girly day shopping. i told him he couldnt come and told him to go with my dad. 5 hours later i found out he had died. i just kept blaming myself sayin if he had come with me he would be here now. it isnt until resently that ive stopped blamin myself. my mum told me she honestly feels that whatever happend that day he still wouldve died it was his time to go. i still have the moments when i blame myself and im sure i will have many more. your circumstances could be totaly differnt to mine and i dont want to upset you by asking why you blame yourself but all i want to say is i hope one day you will stop blaming yourself for what has happend. it sounds asif you and ur brother were so close and im sure he wouldnt want you to put youself through all this pain. im really sorry if i sound Patronising.
please remember im always here if you need to talk.

Reply from: chrissie - 27 Jan 04

Subject: (no subject)

hi ya
im nikkis sister, and i just wanted to say that if you want to talk then i'll listen. i was 10 years older than my little brother so i was more like a mum to him then a best friend. hope your ok. just keep tryin, your brother is lookin after you and would want you to be happy.
take care
luv chrissie
x x x

Reply from: CAL - 29 Jan 04

Subject: hi

Thanks u guys for ur replies. It is hard to say how u feel to describe the pain which is almost physical. i've lost so many people over the last few years which i have coped with. but i know this is different i know this is with me for life i miss him more and more every day and the pain gets worse, the rest of my family have moved on but i cant. i will never get over this. i found some pictures the other day i have never seen before i spent the crying the whole day behind my door i dont know how much more i can take, i just want him back but i know that isnt possible. thanks guys

Reply from: Clara - 26 Feb 04

Subject: my brother

Hey everyone - please help me my brother died less then 2 months ago, it was on the 14th january and he was in a foreign country and on his gap year. I miss him so muhc and it hurts so much too, he was such a special guy, please help could u possibly email me? (sorry clara we can't include your email address - rd4u team) thanks again guys and keep strong

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