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Message from: Steph - 13 Jan 04

Subject: Life without my dad :(

My dad died at home in August...it was a shock to everyone. At the time I kept myself composed because my mom and my younger sister needed me. Three weeks later I had to go back to college. I think going back helped alittle but now I recently graduated and have returned home for grad school and to help my mom. It is so difficult being at home because everything reminds me of him. I try so hard to help my mom out but sometimes I just don't have the energy either. Every time I look at my mom I see how much she is hurting inside and all I want to do is fix it but i know nothing anyone says can. I miss my dad... there is so much I want to tell him. He and I were so close and always had long conversations about life. It's been 5 months and yet it still feels like a dream. I can't be 22 and no longer have my dad! My mom and I have been cleaning out his things... I don't want to throw anything away or give anything away but my mom wants to. I am not ready to, because their room will seem so empty. I just don't understand how he could have left us like this. My dad was my best friend... I have no one to turn to now.

Subject: He'll always be there

When my dad died, i felt so alone. I still do. It's like when he died, a part of me died with him. My dad was one of my best friends too, and i know he's watching over me. The pain still hasn't started healing and it'll probably be the same for you. Goodluck, your dad is with you, although you can't see him. You are in my thoughts, love adi xx

Subject: My mum died

Hey.. sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad. My mum died on the 3rd May 2003 she suffered a long illness before she lost the battle, my sister and myself were both there when she died which is still painful to remember as you seem to forget the good times you had because you cant get past the death and heartache, she was in alot of pain. My mum was only 46 yrs old (Im 24). I feel cheated that my mum will never see me marry or be there if or when I have children. I loved her so much, we were all so close. She was the most beautiful, kind and caring lady. Some days I sit and cry for hours other days It creeps up on me and I realise just what I have lost. Even now Im still feeling numb like I have been kicked in the stomach that awful empty feeling of a broken heart. I wish you and your family all the very best.

Subject: I'm not trying to interfere

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, i cudnt imagine life wivout my mum. I neva thought bout my dad not seein me marry, i always thought bout my weddin tho an he wud be ther 2 giv me away, i cant believe he wont. Im havin one of my days wen im reely dpressed. The only thing i can fink bout is the d8 he died, i wasnt even in the country, i jst wish i cud hav 5 mins wiv him.

Subject: i no how ya feel

whe my dad died nearly 18 months ago a whole chapter of my life dissappeared, he died at work helpin out the bus drivers during the tube strike, he was a general manager of a london bus company!!as im adopted i didnt think our relaitonship was as close as a blood related parent n child but when he died i realised it was n i miss him terribly as i got on better wit im than my adopted mum!!but uve got 2 remember all d good timesu ad 2gether, well thats what they all say!!i hope it helped u n would love 2 hear from u!!love kez xx

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