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Message from: jacko - 05 Jan 04

Subject: my dad died and i cant cope

my dad died in september, it sounds like ages ago buti still remember da day when it happened, he was goin to work as usual and a drunk driver crashed into him and killed him. I was terrible, i hate dat guy who took my dad im 16 and i ave no dad. since dad died i avent coped to good i drink and take drugs (ecstasy), when i take ecstacy, i feel happy i get a buzz and i forget wat is goin on in my life i feel free even if it is jst for a couple of hours.ive had bad trips too and i hate dem but i cant seem to stop myself takin more after a real bad day. i know it is bad takin drugs and i wud not recommened it to any1 even if u r findin it real hard to cope. i jst need time to my self, in skool my work is gettin really bad, i never turn up, and when i do go to skool i cant concentrate.
My mum has gotten over my dad so quick, she has new b/fs and is out all nite wit her mates, ive tried talkin to her but i cant get through to her!
pleaz can any1 help?? i want to stop takin ecstasy and go back to my life before all dis happened, i miss my dad so much. i cant tell any1 in skool how i feel cause den i wud ave to tell them bout my drug prob, i feel so scared and helpless.
Pleaz help if ya can pleaz
Jacko

Subject: (no subject)

hey their i knwo its hard i aint guna lie coz for me it still is 2 bt drugs definately is nt the answer. Your mum maybe needs to be out becuase the house reminds her of your dad and may feel like she cannot cope you have to be strong for her sake eventually she will come round x

Subject: (no subject)

I'm sorry 2 hear bout ure dad. My dad died in March of a heart attack n i know how hard it is - u see i saw im die. I know how hard it can get at times too. I find it hard 2 tlk 2 my friends 2 - well i don't really want people at skool noin coz they'll just feel sorry 4 me. But if u told ure mates then they could help u. I go 2 counsillin coz of wot i saw - it helps in a way coz u get 2 get all ov ure feelins out. Maybe u could speak 2 sum 1 bout ure drinkin n drug problem it could help u alot. I've never takin drugs so i'm not gonna pretend i know how u feel coz i don't. n i didnt know ure dad - BUT i'm sure he wouldn't want u 2 do wot ure doin at the moment - coz ure only gonna hurt ure self.
If u want sum 1 2 tlk 2 i'm here
Luv Nicky xXx.

Subject: (no subject)

hi jacko,im sorry to hear about your dad.it is always hardlosing someone and it must be harder for you coz of the tragic way you lost him.i can understand that dugs may be your way of coping but i cant hep but feel that maybe its not the BEST way,i dnt mean this in a patronising way,i mean it as a friend.however i do think that it is a positive sign that you want to stop and i hope you can eventually.i also can understand how it must seem dat ur mum had gotten over you dad but im sure that is not the case, it may be her way of coping and even tho it may seem hard at the moment because you dnt feel you hav any1 to talk to, you hav to stay strong becoz and one day you will be able to get back to where you were,but only you can do that.you need to get out there and find some1 who will help u get off the drugs,maybe a helpline or ur GP (its all confidential)and then get back into skool and do ur best! believe me as helpless as it may seem at the moment its never too late!hope i hav been of some help and wish you the best of luck.take care. (if u need any1 to talk to leave me a message and i will get back)

Subject: nuthin works

thanx for replyin, things r ok at da mo, Since last been on ere, ive tried talkin to my mum, but really nuthin ever seems to work, she either gets all upset or jst storms out, she doesnt know how much dis is hurtin me, ive tried to tell her. i avent drank for quite a while now, but im still tryin to get of da ecstasy, its hard but im cuttin dwn, things in skool r still crap!! i feel really lost and alone, i jst want my dad.
Thanx again for replyin
Jacko

Subject: (no subject)

I no how it gets 2 u. i realy mis mi dad sumtimes 2. i try 2 tlk 2 mi m8ts but they don't realy understand - how bout ure m8ts?
Itz gud ure not drnkin much now n ure cuttin down on da drugs all u gotta think iz dat ure dad wunt wont u 2 do it - do it 4 im n ull stop no problem - ure already half way der!
As 4 ure mum she just needs time may be itz her way ov copin every 1 az der own way. av u got any1 else close 2 u u can tlk 2 it might help 2 get ure feelins out.
az 4 skool im not doin 2 well at da moment either - it'll get betta in time though (i hope!!!!)
remember i'm here if u need 2 tlk
Luv Nicky xXx

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