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Message from: Beki

Subject : My Brother died
My older brother died nearly 3 years ago when he was 15 and im finding it harder and harder to cope. i don't want to live anymore. i was really close to him ( more than my other brother n sister) as he was disabled but he still shouldn't have died. i get told im being stupid when i blame myself for his death but in someway i think im partially to blame. I hated turning 16 because it meant i was older than he ever would be and it didn't seem right, but now i have to do everything that he didn't do like take GCSEs, leave school and go to college. I don't want to do this. I'm scared as noone seems to understand. please reply if u can understand how i feel. i need someone to tlk to.